Of course, today was another jam-packed day for thetwinsontour.  The ship arrived in Geiranger at 7am and we had to meet for an excursion at 8:45.  Our original plan had been to sleep in and just go to the excursion. But by now, you know that is not how thetwinsontour operate.  We had watched the ship’s video on Geiranger as we were going to bed the night before and immediately changed our alarms so we could be off the ship at 7am.  There’s a huge waterfall that runs through town, just a 10 minute walk from the ship.  There are steps along the side so that you can climb to the top. So, of course we wanted to do this first thing before it was overrun with people. 

I could see our destination from our balcony. This stuff was close! No getting lost!

Of course when we got off the boat, it was raining. Just a light, persistent drizzle. Thetwinsontour have brand spanking new waterproof raincoats, so this did not faze us in the least. We were just about the first ones off the ship, so it seems as if it did faze the other 2,798 passengers on ship. We could see the church we wanted to visit at the top of a hill. An octagonal building built I don’t know when, but it looks really cool! We climbed up, up, up to the back entrance of the church. The gate to the surrounding grounds was closed but not locked, so we walked right in for a closer perusal. However, the front gate was padlocked! Maybe we were breaking the law? Breaking and entering? Trespassing? Being terrible tourists? Hmm, who knows. Luckily, the wall was short and easy to hop over.

Now, let’s talk about this waterfall. It was ferocious. And seemed to come from multiple sources, converging all together in a magnificent display of nature at its finest. I have no idea where this water comes from. They say it is from the snow at the top of the fjords. But I didn’t really see any snow. I think it was hidden by the clouds. As I am sure you can guess, this was the opportunity for a selfie palooza as we made our way down the stairs that ran parallel to the falls. We were on a time crunch, so we didn’t get the amount of photos we would have liked, but we got a decent number. And, can you believe that there are houses around this waterfall? Like you would always here the roar of the falls– even more so than I can always hear the trains in Olathe– because the falls are constant– I don’t think it gets cold enough for them to freeze in winter due to the warm Gulf Stream that runs along the coast of Norway.  I just think that with the constant sound of rushing water, these people must have to pee nonstop.  They were probably greatly impacted during the great toilet paper shortage of 2020. I digress. But that’s an important digression.

Anyways, it’s a beautiful waterfall right through the middle of town. thetwinsontour would gladly live in one of those houses. The view is amazing.

And then it was time to head back to the ship for our 8:45 excursion meeting time. What excursion did thetwinsontour choose? Why kayaking, of course! There’s no experience necessary, but needless to say, having kayaked Lake Olathe on a beautiful summer day in 2018, thetwinsontour are expert kayakers. Expert, I say!

So we walked around the fjord to the kayak departure point where they gave us our life jackets and kayak skirts and a brief introduction to kayaking. Now, these are 2 people kayaks, which are very different from the single person kayaks that we had cruised around beautiful Lake Olathe in.  There’s a rudder that you use to help steer (not an udder as my sister keeps trying to call it). There’s a bit of a learning curve to these.  As you may have guessed, despite this excursion being long over, thetwinsontour are still on this learning curve.  We are just glad that we made it to the kayak without falling on the slippery wooden dock.  They warned everyone that it was slippery, so of course 3 people fell flat on their butts walking to the kayaks.  Yes, this did make us wonder about the physical abilities of some of the other kayakers.  Anyways, we get in our green kayak and start practicing and learning each other’s rhythm. Kayaking is all about being in rhythm.  This should be easy for thetwinsontour, being in sync and all, but my sister may be the worst paddler in the whole world.  There I said it.  And I may not be great at steering, but I have a much better understanding of steering.  She kept telling me that I needed to steer right in order to go left.  Which is not true!  No matter what we did, it wasn’t right.  We quickly got left behind and nearly got stuck in the mangroves (or whatever sort of trees grow along the fjords of Norway).  Finally, the second guide who was supposed to be bringing up the rear with the slow people (its us, we are the slow people, it’s us) comes along and with confusion in his voice says, “Girls, what are you doing?” Really, I think the answer is obvious Stefano, but “We need help.”  So, finally, after rowing backwards and him telling us what to do, we were able to extricate ourselves from the bushes at the side of the fjord. 

And then we were off!  Kind of.  So we zigged and zagged and paddled for all we were worth.  While he just sort of sat there waiting on us, twirling his oar.  After a while, he says, “Girls, I have a special treat for you.  Look up in the top of that tree, a Golden Eagle! Paddle real quiet and we will ge closer so that you can get a good picture of him on your phone.” So we did. Pretty sure this Eagle is always in this tree as it is one of three resident eagles in the fjord, so spotting him wasn’t that rare. After a few minutes of admiring the eagle way up in the top of the tree, the guide says to us, “Girls, so you want to cross some fjords?”  We just kind of look at him because I am not really sure what he means because we are right there floatng in the fjords in our two person kayak.  Before I can formulate a response, he says, “because I don’t think it’s a great idea.  I think we should just stay right here.”  Needless to say, there was a lot of inner rejoicing with thetwinsontour!  We had no idea how we were ever going to catch up with the rest of the group to see the waterfalls that are 7 km away. 

So, he says, “Give me your phone and I’ll get some pictures of you.”  So that is what we did–posed for a couple of pictures, let Stefano assure us that we are not the worst kayakers ever (he’s wrong), and then bask in the glory and the magnificence of the Geirangerfjord.  It is a UNESCO world heritage sight after all due to its outstanding natural beauty.  And you know what? That is exactly what we needed.  To sit there in a tiny kayak surrounded by the mountains of the fjord and just relax and take it all in. Who wants to be busy paddling and missing all that outstanding natural beauty?   I really should have taken a video, but I was too busy just being. 

All too soon, it was time to head back.  Originally, he had told us that less is more when we were paddling.  But then he told us a little more power.  So confusing!  But anyways we went with the little more power.   With me chanting, left, right, left to try to keep us in sync.  Just because we are twins, doesn’t mean that we share the same rhythm. I can’t even clap– I have no rhythm.  Anyways, I was paddling hard. So hard that I kept dipping the sleeve of my raincoat in the water and then dripping water down the inside of my sleeve.  Don’t worry, this is very clean water. It comes from the millions of waterfalls that we see every day in Norway that come from the supposed snow (that I can’t see) at the top of the mountains. It’s not like gross bacteria infested Lake of the Ozarks water.   So we are paddling for all we are worth, still zigzagging all over the fjord.  Seriously, I think they gave us a defective kayak. It would not go straight no matter what I did.  We were much farther out than we thought.  Even though the cruise ship was in our sight most of the time, it’s a really big ship, so it should always be in your sight.  There were several scary moments when speed boats went by and created big waves.  He told us to go at a 90-degree angle to the oncoming boats, but as previously mentioned, we had a defective boat that didn’t steer well.   There was one big splash that left a puddle of water in my kayak skirt, so there was a puddle of water practically in my lap most of the time.  But that was it.  Anways, we were paddling, left, right, left. Over and over again. As fast as we could.  Finally, the last 2 minutes of the paddling we were finally able to go in a straight line.  It was glorious!   We pulled up to the dock, and then all of a sudden, we were surrounded by other kayaks  pulling in right behind us.  Seriously. I have no idea where they came from.  I never saw them. They were nowhere near us when we started to head back to the dock. I didn’t see them as we were paddling back.  I mean, we weren’t going anywhere near a straight line, so I should have seen them at some point. It’s a mystery. 

By this point, I really, really had to pee.   It was noon, and we had been on or near the water for nearly 3 hours.   My pants were wet from where the kayak skirt leaked, and the inside of my right sleeve was wet from paddling so hard.   We walked back as fast as we could, but it was nearly a 20 minute walk.  I kept looking for the public toilets that had seemed to be all over the place during our morning foray to the town waterfall.  Finally! I found one!  And it costs $2.20. That is the most expensive toilet I have ever seen.  I mean, two dollars and twenty cents is a lot of money to pay to pee.   I just couldn’t do it.  Especially with the ship right there in plain sight, just a few more minutes walk.   Obviously, this was the dumbest mistake I have EVER MADE IN MY LIFE!  Why choose to be cheap now?  What is two dollars and twenty cents when your bladder has never been so full in your entire life (except maybe that time we got stuck in the snow on the side of the interstate in Wyoming in 2005 and had to wait forever for a tow truck and then when we made it to the rest stop it was CLOSED. But that was years ago.)  The ship was in sight, and just a  few minutes away. However, remember the foreshadowing I did above when I mentioned it was noon?  Do you know what everyone wants to do at noon? Head to the ship and eat free lunch in the cafeteria!   Everyone and their mother was in line to get back on the ship right then.  We waited in line nearly half an hour while bemoaning the fact that we should have just paid $4.40 for us both to pee.  It was painful and torturous. There is no reason it should take those people so dang long to go through a metal detector.  Pick up the pace, people! 

We had to stop at the first bathroom we found. Luckily, they are everywhere on the ship.  There was no way I could make it to the 6th floor and the other end of the ship to our room.  So after going back and changing our of our wet clothes it was time to join the masses for lunch on the ship. 

Now, due to the walk/waddle back to the ship, waiting in line to board said ship, changing our clothes, eating in the busy cafeteria, etc, it was after 2pm before we were ready to head back into town.  There wasn’t time to do any of the other hikes outside of town, so we just had to go back to the same waterfall in the center of town.   This time, we approached it from the bottom instead of the top, so we climbed the millions of stairs to get to the top. And there were a lot of people in the way! We also did some shopping. But that goes without saying. Nothing keeps thetwinsontour out of souvenir shops.  Nothing! 

And that pretty much sums up the day in Geiranger.  Now, here’s a few facts about Geiranger. It is a UNESCO World Heritage sight because of its beauty.  It is also a town of just 200 people.  Yes, 200 people.   Due to its exceptional beauty, it also sees over a million tourists a year.  That’s a million tourists, mostly from cruise ships  from May to September.  There were also quite a few people camping there, so not all cruise tourists.   Knowing those numbers, it now makes sense as to why both of the kayaking guides were from Italy and working in Norway for the summer.  It takes a lot of people to handle a million visitors.   

Now, we had prepped for the departure through Geirangerfjord.  During our failed kayak trip, we were supposed to kayak all the way to see the 7 Sisters Waterfall, the most beautiful  and most photgraphed waterfall in all of Norway. Needless to say, we did not get to behold the beauty of said waterfall from our green kayak. Our guide had told us it was on the right-hand side.  But our room was on the left-hand side, so our balcony would be absolutely useless today!  Up to the pool deck to enjoy a piña colada and the scenic view. 

So we approached the 7 Sisters Waterfall and oohed and ahhed as appropriate.  There is also another larger waterfall nearly dircetly across from the 7 Sisters that I was trying to take pictures of without losing my spot on the railing to get the best view of the 7 Sisters. It really was spectacular.  But then, do you know what the ship captain did? He turned that ship around in a complete 360 turn!  That way, everyone could see both sides of the waterfall regardless of being port or starboard.  The thing is, that captain turned a giant cruise ship in a 360-degree turn with far more ease than thetwinsontour were able to turn our defective kayak in a 360 turn.  Amazing and disgusting at the same time. So with that, I am going to end this.  Because, really, what can top that?

Love,

thetwinsontour

In an effort to not waste a single second of shore time in Norway, thetwinsontour are rapidly becoming sleep deprived. Today, we found ourselves in Ålesund, which is known for its Art Nouveau buildings. Most of the town burnt to the ground in 1904, so it got rebuilt in the architectural style of the time–Art Nouveau–aka Jugendstil. So, really, what that means is that there are cool buildings. thetwinsontour were among the first people off the boat, and quickly headed for all the good sights, without having any idea what the sights were really or where exactly they were…

We wandered around, taking pictures, meandering towards tourist information. It was so early that none of the shops were open yet, which means that thetwinsontour could not be distracted and led astray by the lure of a pretty bauble or $6 magnets.

Armed with our map from tourist information, which was open, we headed off for our goal: 418 steps. Truly, that is what all the directional signs say– 418 steps. What are these 418 steps? Where do they go? I wasn’t really sure, but I knew that is what I wanted to do! 418 stairs doesn’t sound like a lot– until you start to climb them. Then, you get up like 14 stairs, and you’re like, are we there yet? And, if you think how many stairs are in a flight of stairs, like 6 in my house? 14 to not mess up the following calculations? That is like 29 floors?! I carry my laundry up 2 flights of stairs at home, and it wears me out. This is only 27 more floors– easy peasy, lemon squeezy.  Actually, I am not at all confident in these calculations. Sleep deprived. See above.

Regardless of my math or counting skills, it was all irrelevant as random stairs were numbered. And when I say random, I mean random. It just made 0% sense, and of that, I am 100% certain. 47. 82. 108. It took a hundred steps to grab the attention of my mathematical mind. It isn’t odd numbers. 213. Or multiples of 25. 237. Or prime numbers. 268. Some diabolical version of the Pythagorian Therom? 298. Then, they would move to the right side of the stair from the left. 323. JUST NO. 367. 408. Thank goodness by this time we had almost reached the summit. Because really, I think they planned this just to torture me!

Anyways, 418 stairs later, we made it to the summit of Mt. Everest (it certainly felt that high) and the observatory to observe the town and fjords below.  Translation–we dug out the selfie stick.  

You know what happens when you climb up 418 stairs? You have to go back down those same 418 weirdly numbered stairs! Needless to say, we hit our 10k step goal very early in the morning.

We wandered the town in a frantic, picture taking frenzy– snapping pics of all that Art Nouveau goodness. We were on a mission to see as much as possible as we needed to hurry back to the ship for an 11:45 excursion. And someone was trying to guide us back to the boat without paying attention to the person with the map. Someone was panicked. Someone was calm, cool, and collected because she knew where she was going!

Do you know what happens when you have an 11:45 excursion? You miss lunch! Boat lunch starts at 11:30, which does not leave time for a salad, a bowl of pineapple, and a donut! Luckily, thetwinsontour travel with snacks. (My daddy taught me well–never leave home without at least 2 granola bars in your pocket–it keeps the hangry away.) Where were we headed on this lunchtime excursion? The islands of Giske and Godoy! These islands are connected to Ålesund by underwater, subterranean tunnels! Yes. Unfortunately, in my mind, I picture an underwater sea walk at an aquarium. This was not the case. It was just a boring tunnel. You would never even know you were traveling underwater. Not even a mural of an octopus. Alas, it was exciting nonetheless.

These are just little tiny islands. Giske doesn’t even have any stores on it now that they have a tunnel and can easily go shopping in bigger places. We went to a church built in the 1100s by a prominent Viking family. You cannot go inside, but still several very interesting facts. It is built out of marble. Yes, marble! This is also something you would never know if I didn’t tell you. Marble doesn’t hold up well in the harsh sea winds, so they had to cover the outside with plaster. I don’t know how many years it took them to realize this though. It was a very important pilgrimage site for many years before the Danish king decided that Norway should be Protestant instead of Catholic. The Pope had written a letter to the church, and if you kissed the cross etched into the side of the building, all if your sins would be forgiven.

Also, there is a bit of a mystery as to where the marble came from because there is no marble in Norway. They think it’s probably Italian. Which leads us to another mystery! How did they get giant blocks of marble from Italy to Norway on little Viking ships? Probably Aliens. Has to be.

For the next island of Godoy, we also went through a remarkable, or is that unremarkable, underwater tunnel. Our goal there was a cool lighthouse. I’ll admit, I know nothing about this. I don’t know if the guide talked about it because I climbed the steep, narrow steps to the top. The steps that the old people were scared to climb down until I told them to go down backwards. What would these people do without thetwinsontour? It was super, super windy atop the lighthouse. It was also pretty windy on the ground. This is probably why they need a lighthouse here because of the wind.

Last stop of the day was back in town at the observatory which we had already climbed 418 steps to get to in the morning. Guess we could have saved a lot of steps if we had paid attention to the itinerary. Oops. But where is the fun in that? Since we needed time to shop and had already seen the view with a lot less people in the way, we ditched the end of the tour and willingly walked down 418 steps. But you know, thetwinsontour like to walk on the wild side.

Love,

thetwinsontour

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Our first stop in Norway was the tiny village of Eidfjord, population 962 per Wikipedia.  It did not disappoint.  Our frantic planning the day before told us that we wanted to visit a waterfall, a church built in 1309, and then to hike the blue and/or yellow route.  More details on this later.

So the ship docked bright and early at 7am, which means thetwinsontour had to get up at the buttcrack of dawn in order to make it to breakfast when they opened.  Gotta beat the masses to breakfast so we don’t have to wait in line for our sweet potato waffles and omlettes.   Anyways, we made it off the boat right on time– just a few minutes after 7am.   The tourist information office is about 20 feet from the boat.  And then…we had to wait in line for them to open.   They didn’t open until about 7:30am, but at least the other people in line were friendly.   So the lady at the info desk told the 2 ladies in front of us that she was waiting for confirmation on the bus to the waterfall, but that they could take a taxi instead.  She said that the bus was, I think 350 krona/person and the taxi was 270 krona per person with 4 people.  And these ladies, said, but there are only 2 of us.  And since I was desperate to get to the waterfall after having wasted a precious half hour of shore time waiting for tourist info to open, I, of course, said we can join you.  So, off to the waterfall we went with Carol and Cindy from Virginia.  

For those of you wondering on the conversion rate, there’s about 10 Norwegian Krona to the dollar. So it cost $27 each for a round trip taxi ride to the waterfalls.   The only bad thing is that you get half an hour at the falls, which is not NEARLY enough time.  There’s lots of stairs (and lack of stairs) to get to the various viewing platforms.   And then you have to take a bunch of selfies, a video of the falls, and just bask in their glory.   We took about 35 minutes because we overestimated our ability to quickly climb the steep trail back to the parking lot in the rain. Our taxi driver was a little testy, but we got some great pictures.  All the taxis and busses only allow a half hour there because they have to get back for the next round of people.   I read this on tripadvisor, too. 

After that, we did find the church in Eidfjord built in the 1300s, which is pretty old.  It’s just a small little church.  You just have to be sure to shut the door so the birds don’t get in.  

Then, after a few missed turns (who else but thetwinsontour would get turned around in a village of 962, but we are good at getting lost!) we found our way to the yellow hiking trail.  Mind you, we didn’t have a map or know where the yellow trail went, or how long of a hike it was, but I had read a review on tripadvisor that mentioned the blue and yellow trails.   There were lots of people on the trail.  After a while, I noticed that all of the people were going in the same direction, and no one was coming in the opposite direction.   Finally. I asked someone if they knew where the trail went, and he said it’s a mile walk to the beach, and we were at about .8 miles.  He also mentioned some burial grounds further up the mountain. It seemed like we had been walking much longer than .8 miles, but it’s impossible to walk very far in Norway without stopping for photos.  Everything is so beautiful and picturesque.  It’s literally just amazing.   And there are mushrooms!

We did make it to a beach on a fresh water lake. The views were amazing. Interpret this as “lot’s of selfies were taken.” Then we had to decide– complete the loop or backtrack? By my calculations and map reading skills, it was only a smidgen further to complete the loop. And we hate backtracking!

So we walked for what seemed like miles (with our new friend Carol from the waterfall taxi in tow), but the trail did lead us to the ancient Viking  burial grounds.  You wouldn’t really know that it was something important if it wasn’t roped off with a sign in front of it.   The sign said that there are probably hundreds in the area, but burial mound styles changed over the years, so some are bigger than others.  Really, for thetwinsontour, the exciting part was the horses grazing on the luscious green grass with the hills and gently rolling fog in the background. Worth the whole treacherous hike on the nice and wide and beautifully paved path.

Later we read that the hike was supposed to take 75-90 minutes.  We did not time ourselves, but needless to say thetwinsontour took more than 90 minutes to complete the trail.  Besides, Norwegians are pretty tall, so they have longer legs and walk faster. 

To close out a perfect day in Eidfjord, we had a Norwegian ice cream!  It’s ice cream, in Norway.  We got a soft serve in a cup (cones are too messy).  This may be the most delicious soft serve thetwinsontour have ever eaten!  Somehow, it tasted like if Dairy Queen and Costco creamy, fluffy cake icing had a baby, it would be soft serve ice cream in Norway.   So delicious! 

All aboard time was 2:30 today, so it was a short but magical day in Norway.  Of course, thetwnsontour took advantage of every second!

The cruise ship did a slow scenic cruise out of Eidfjord so that we could again bask in the glory of the Norwegian Fjords from our balcony and then a frantic trip up to the deck so that we could see the largest suspension bridge in Norway (and maybe beyond?).  I do not have enough adjectives to describe the grandeur of the fjords, so I will end for now.

Love,

thetwinsontour

We boarded the ship around noon on Saturday after an extremely over-priced (surprise, surprise) taxi ride to the cruise port.  The hotel front desk said it would be about 20 euros give or take, but it was 37 euros. Where my math friends at? That is very nearly double what we were expecting. Yikes! Why the heck is everything in Amsterdam so dang pricey? It is ridiculous! But by this point, we are basically immune to overpriced goods and services. Take my money! Sure beats slugging my suitcase 45 minutes across the tourist infestation that is downtown Amsterdam.

Nothing else was super exciting or memorable. We made it onto the ship, found our room, and went to lunch. (We were not spending any more money in Amsterdam!) The boat has a buffet– but most of it is not help yourself. If you want a salad, you wait in line, and they make it for you with your chosen ingredients, like at Subway.

I consider myself to be technologically savvy and can handle basic internet tasks. However, when it came to creating a login ID for the Holland America App, I just couldn’t do it! I had to head to guest services for some internet assistance. While we were standing in line, we heard this horrendous crashing noise. Then the staff all took off running. Some lady had fallen down a flight of marble stairs! I assume she was European because no one in her group seemed too hysterical (and I did not go peep over the railing), but I heard her tumbling. And she didn’t get up. Something had to have been broken. We had been cruising for about an hour.

A while later, we were out on deck, pretending to be walking laps, but really, we were taking selfies. There were lots of Dutch people out taking pictures of our cruise ship. (I don’t even take that many pictures of the cruise ship, and I am traveling on it!). We were going through some locks, and I was thinking– ooh, is this going to be like th Panama Canal? Then I noticed an ambulance, staring at our ship. And some guys in yellw coats- with ropes– that they started tossing to our ship– and then our ship was tossing back giant lassos– that they were then looping to steel pylons on the locks. This was no  Panama Canal– they were stopping our ship! So, then we were stopped– and the ambulance crew was staring at the entrance to our ship– and I heard them utter the words “too dangerous.”” Then one of the captains came walking out and looking over the railing and climbing on the life boats, trying to figure out what to do. Then the captain came over the speakers and said we were stopped, waiting on the firemen to come and bring a ladder so that the paramedics could board the ship and help someome off with their medical emergency (reference above tumble.) So, we naturally stood and waited on the firetruck– watched them bring a ladder for boarding the ship– they all strapped on jaunty silver life jackets before crossing the gang plank they had also brought on the fire truck–you know, safety first.  But, then, you guys, there was a second fire truck with a cherry picker that they lowered down to the ship entrance. Right about, then they came out on the deck and made us all go inside for the privacy of the guest–which, I get, but I wanted to watch the firetruck! And really, why didn’t the ship have an emergy gang plank that the paramedics could have used? Surely this wasn’t the first emergency they have had?  And also, thank goodness for socialized medicine. Can you imagine what kind of bill the ambulance would send for waiting around for over an hour, or the bill for three fire trucks, including a cherry picker? Not to mention the port authorities working the locks? I can’t even fathom it.

Clearly the rest of the evening would have paled in comparison to that kind of excitement.  

Sunday was our day at sea. We spent the day  going to meetings to try and figuure out what we need to do while in Norway because, well, surprise surprise, this trip came up much quicker than expected and we didn’t have a darn thing planned.   Still not sure that we know what we are doing, but at least we will be slightly more informed in our lack of Norwegian shore knowledge.  

What else did we do?  Well, it is a cruise ship, so what do you think?  Raise your hand if you said EAT!  After fighting the masses at the breakfast buffet, we decided to eat lunch in the sit-down restaurant.  Nothing too remarkable, but it was tasty.  

The dessert did not make our hearts go pitter patter, so after lunch we went to the cafeteria to get some dessert from the buffet. That’s how we roll!  For dinner, we had our fancy restaurant complementary dinner at the Asian restaurant.  It was all quite delicious, but paled in comparison to the dessert. Seriously, it will probably be the best thing I eat for the whole entire rest of the cruise.   What was this wonder you ask?  Mango Posset.  I have no idea what a posset is, but I want more of it.  There was a scoop of creamy mango sorbet, atop a coconut macroon (the only weak spot of the dish), in a bed of mango puree.  There are no words to describe how good this stuff was.  Oh, and since we were also tempted by the assortment of gelatos, they brought us out a flight (yeah just like beer) of different gelato flavors.  The clear winner of the sampler was the lychee flavor–quite delicious!  We also had zulu or zuzu? It’s a Japanese citrus.  The other was lemon basil. I didn’t care for it, but my sister polished it off in quick order. 

Well, I guess that’s about it.  There’s only so much you can write about a day at sea. 

Goodbye for now!

Love,

thetwinsontour

#Bohrn2wander  seriously, why did we never think of this hashtag before?  It’s brilliant, eh? 

PS. Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and Instagram!  I am still not paying extra to include pictures in these blogs.  and I don’t remember how I inserted that hyperlink before.  

As previously mentioned, on Friday we were double booked for the Ann Frank House and the Van Gogh museum.  So we started out bright and early for Ann Frank’s house, which is about a 15 minute walk from the hotel.  It took us 26 minutes.  Too many beautiful canals and bridges on the way required photos and selfies. 

Anyways, we still arrived a few minutes before our 9:30 entrance time.  They provide you an audio guide, and the tour takes about an hour.  Usually, I am not an audio guide fan, but there’s no way to see and/or enjoy the museum without it.  We have been here before (back when you could just walk up, buy tickets, and walk right in), but I didn’t remember much of it.  Twenty-three years is a long time ago!  I’m quite ashamed to admit it,  but I have never actually read her diary. The museum is the secret annex where her family and 4 other Jews lived above the factory where her father had worked.  The annex is hidden behind a movable book shelf and is actually several stories of rooms.  It’s bigger than I thought it would be, but still quite small to stay hidden in for 2 years. I can’t even stay in my house an afternoon before I get restlesss and decide I need to go to the Dollar Tree or Walmart.  I can’t imagine hiding out, being quiet, not running the water during the day for 2 years.   Her father was the only one out of the eight people that survived the concentration camps they were taken to.

There’s no photos allowed inside the museum, but most of their belongings were removed when they were discovered and arrested.  The rooms are empty of furniture.  There’s video screens throughout that show interviews with her father and various other survivors.  I am glad that we were able to get tickets to visit.   Tickets are released weekly, six weeks in advance.  That means I had to set a reminder on my phone so that I could buy the tickets on May 27.  The tickets usually sell out in a day, and some time slots were already sold out when we bought ours early in the morning  .

After that, we had a 27 minute walk (per the google maps, which now tells me that I need to turn in 40 meters.  Seriously, just because I am in Netherlands doesn’t mean I want my directions in the metric system Google!)

The Van Gogh Museum is located in what is called the Museem Platz.  The National Art Gallery (which we did not purchase tickets to or have time to visit) is here as well. We also came here in 2000.  We were traveling around Europe for two months, and everywhere we went, someone was carrying a yellow poster tube from the Van Gogh museum. Seriously, all over Europe there were Van Gogh poster tubes.  Somehow, we were strong and did not succumb to poster tube peer pressure in 2000 or 2023.   These tickets we bought way before the Ann Frank ticekts.  They release them much further in advance, but they do not sell out quite as quickly.  If you are not picky about an entrance time, you can get some for next week right now.   But don’t delay because they WILL sell out. But I think despite what the tickets say, at Van Gogh it is more of a suggested entrance time.  We were supposed to arrive between 10 and 1030 per our ticket, but we left Ann Frank around 10:30 and then had a 27 minute walk to get there.  It was after 11 and they didn’t say a word when they looked at my ticket and ushered me into the building. And when they scanned my ticket at the entrance, no flashing lights or sirens went off.  But we were also just a little over an hour late from our assigned entrance time. 

I love Van Gogh and appeantly the rest of the world also thinks they love Van Gogh.  It was miserably crowded even with timed entrances. There were just people everywhere. Standing in my way, blocking the Sunflowers, blocking the self portraits, blocking every painting.  Of course, we did not let that stop us, but it did slow me down!  We spent over 3 hours there basking in the glory that is Van Gogh.  I wish he had known how beloved his work would be, maybe he would not have ended his life and would have kept on painting into perpetuity.   Just imagine, he spent the last 10 years of his life painting and painted over 800 paintings.  That is an incredible amount. He was a painting machine. There’s even a painting in the museum that he painted on a kitchen towel when he ran out of canvas.  He was unstoppable.  

There were a handful of paintings in the museum that were not Van Gogh’s– they were works that inspired Van Gogh– like Monet.  And, no one was standing in front of the Monets because, duh, not Van Gogh! Only at the Van Gogh would people scoff at a Monet!

Did I mention that we were there for over 3 hours? Needless to say, thetwinsontour were HANGRY.  As soon as we left there, we sat down at the first restaurant we found.  A restaurant with a broken oven. Fear not!  Their stovetop was working, so we got a “toastie” with shredded beef and some sauces.  It was delicious, and also 14 euros.  For context, it costs 16 euros to go to Ann Frank and 20 euros for Van Gogh.   And the dollar is about .91 euros, so that was more than 15 dollars for a little sandwich.   And we did NOT care because we were hangry.  Also, pretty much everything in Amsterdam is crazy expensive like that. Except french fries.  

After that we walked over to the Flower Market because my sister wanted to see tulips.  We found some, they were silk.   But, they have house plants so cheap!  They had beautiful umbrella plants for only 10 euros.  It is at least a $25-30 plant if you are lucky enough to find it at Sam’s Club.  If I didn’t have to get on a cruise ship and an airplane, and if it was legal to bring plants into the US, I would be the proud owner of at least 1 new umbrella plant.  They are virtually impossible to kill.  I have been trying since 1998 to kill the one I got from Grandpa’s funeral, but after 23 years it is finally flourishing.  I think it’s the regular watering that it gets now.  A dozen roses was about the same price.  

Then we walked a couple blocks over to Rembrant Plaza because how do you go to the Netherlands and not pay homage in some way to the other great Dutch painter?  There was an opera singer in the plaza giving a free concert! Complete with piano and cello.  Believe it or not, that was not the first full-sized piano we saw in the streets of Amsterdam.  The Dutch will not be intimidated by the logistics of wheeling a piano through the streets!  

As you may be able to guess, our phones were dangerously low on battery power after all of this non-stop excitement.  After a 30 minute airplane mode phone charge at the hotel, we were back out again to eat more pancakes.   Obviously, since it was dinner time, we got the savory pancakes this time.  Ham and cheese!  Quite tasty indeed!  And do you know what the best part was?  At this  particular pancake restaurant, you get a free souvenir keychain of a wooden shoe.  FREE!  thetwinsontour LOVE FREE STUFF!!!  Who wouldn’t want a Pancake House wooden shoe keychain?  Oh, well then, I will take yours too!

For the grand finale of the evening, STROOPWAFEL!   Yes, we had spied a Stroopwafel place earlier in the day with a long line outside the door, and we knew we had to go back for dessert.  There’s just no avoiding the allure off the stroopwafel anymore than the moth can avoid the flame or the twinsontour can avoid free stuff.  It’s impossible.   Impossible I say!

So, of course, even though it was 8pm, there was a long line of tourists outside the door.  Most of the other shops on the pedestrian street were closed, but Van Wonderen Stroopwafels since 1907 is open until 10pm.   The thing is, there are no prices posted for the Stroopwafels, just examples of the flavors like they do at Crumble.  Then they ask you if you want mini, medium, or mega.  The Mega just seemed excessive so we got a medium sea salt caramel and a medium Diam (a kind of European chocolate candy).  Can you guess what the total was? It was 26 euros!  Which was $30.  Those Stroopwafels were $15 each. Crazy!  Even the British guy we were talking to later thought that was outrageous, and he was from London.  Anways, the Stroopwafels were delicious and worth ever bit of their $13 euro price tag. Maybe. Probably. Definitely.

Obviously, by this time , it well was past thetwinsontour bedtime. 

Good night from Amsterdam!

PS. But wait!  There is more.   We didn’t have to board the cruise ship until noon on Saturday, so what did thetwinsontour do?  Sleep in late and relax?  Heck no!  We booked a free walking tour around Amsterdam at 9am.  Ideally, you should do a walking tour the first day you get to a city, not a couple hours before you leave, but I think that we have proven that there was absolutely no time for this previously. None at all! 

The only problem with our 9am walking tour was that it started to rain, and then it proceeded to rain at 9am, and rain throughout most of the tour. My pants were wet, my shoes were wet, and my socks were absolutely soaked through by the end of the tour.  Intrestingly enough, the tour ended about 11 and so did the rain.  Yes, it only rained during the walking tour.  Typical.   Good news is that our brand new REI raincoats are waterproof! The rest of me may have been soaked, but my raincoat was nice and dry! Surprisingly, this is a remarkably difficult feat. I don’t know why raincoats are not all waterproof.

We walked past the monkey bar, which is the oldest bar (and building too I think) in Amsterdam. It is one of only 2 wooden buildings remaining after a bad fire many years ago.  We saw the oldest gay bar in the world, dating back to pre WWII  We saw the skinniest house in Amsterdam.  It was built on a 15 foot wide plot instead of a 30 foot wide plot like all the others.   Absoultely adorable!  I think its a tea shop now?  Our guide sent us through a block of the red light district.  Obviously, at 10am there were no ladies sitting in windows (a very outdated buisiness model according to your guide), And we walked into a coffee shop for about 30 seconds, but the smell of marijuana smoke at 10:30 in the morning was a bit overwhelming.   It was surprising how many people are smoking pot in coffee shops on Saturday mornings.  

So, pot is not legal in Amsterdam. It is just de-criminalized.   Meaning that you can not be punished for smoking it.  The only legal place to buy it is in the coffee shops. There are a limited number of coffee shops in Amsterdam, and they will not add anymore.  However, there are only 2 legal marijuana farms in the Netherlands which is not enough farms to supply all the coffee shops and massive numbers of tourists, so the coffee shop owners have to buy the pot illegally in order to legally sell it in their shops.  Also, an outdated business model.  And that is coffee shops in a nut shell. They also sell coffee, but I can’t imagine wanting to go sit in a haze of pot smoke to drink  a capuccino.

The end!  Next stop, cruising to Norway!!!!!!

It feels like forever since our last adventure!  But here we are in Amsterdam, whose beautiful canals and museums we last visted in October 2000. Twenty three years ago, we had film cameras and no cell phones.  We had to find our way around town with paper maps and a Let’s Go Europe book.  Whoa!  Crazy right?!? 

Anyways, we arrived on Thursday morning well before the official 3pm check-in time at our hotel.   So, after depositing our luggage in the luggage storage room, we were off to eat and explore!  We had passed a pancake restaurant while rolling our overstuffed suitcases down the sidewalks from the train station to the hotel, so we knew we had to go back there. I mean, how do you pass up Dutch Pancakes?  thetwinsontour sure can’t!  Dutch pancakes are as big as a dinner plate and come with various toppings– like baked apples and whipped cream!  They also had a Dutch brand of syrup on the table, but it wasn’t nearly as good as Mrs. Butterworths, so I just stuck with yummy whipped cream.  

/You know what else we passed on the way to our hotel, suitcases in tow? Madame Tuassauds wax museum!  That was not on our mental list of potential activities because we went there in 2000. Been there, done that.   But it was right there!  Just 1 block from the hotel.   And we had plenty of free time. It was like a sign that we needed to go again.  The price has gone up considerably in the past 23 years.  Actually, I have no idea what it cost back then, but it had to be significantly less than the 26 euros it costs now.    The euro is pretty strong right now, so that translates to about $30 a person. Which is crazy.   Needless to say, we took pictures with every single wax statue they had (except Donald Trump).   Leo DiCaprio, Lady Gaga, ET, multiple James Bonds, Marilyn, Madonna (or as her frends call her, Madge), Dutch speed skaters, Queen Maxima and whatever the King’s name is.  I think you get the picture.  

Now, the only thing we really remember from 23 years ago was that there was a smashed penny machine in the exit stairs.  And it was broken and it had taken our money.  There were 2 Dutch guys there who  really wanted a smashed penny, so they went to find a worker.  We all waited in that stairewell forever and ever.  And no one ever came to fix the penny machine.  So, for 23 years, that is all I can think of about the wax museum—the smashed penny that I was not able to get.  It’s left a sour tasete in my mouth for all these years.  But guess what?!?  There is still a penny machine in the stairwell, and it works!  I finally got my Madame Tuassauds smashed penny!  After all these years.  It feels so good to be able to have a happy ending to my wax museum story, finally!

So, for the afternoon.  We were supposed to go to the Van Gogh museum.  At least, that is what I have been thinking in my head for the past 6 weeks or more. We were going to the Van Gogh museum on Thursday afternoon and then the Ann Frank House museum on Friday morning.   So, here’s a friendly little reminder, as you get older, it is best to look things up and write things down rather than go by memory.   Because when you book your Van Gogh tickets in April for an August visit (quite necessary if you want to go), you may think that you have tickets for Van Gogh on Thursday afternoon, but you really have them for 10am Friday morning.  At the EXACT same time that you booked your Ann Frank tickets for.  Yes, we had tickets for Van Gogh at 10am and Ann Frank at 9:30am.   And the museums are about a mile and a half apart.  What a conondrum!  

We asked our friendly hotel clerk, and he did not seem to think it was too much of a problem.  His first suggestion was to go to Van Gogh and sell our Ann Frank tickets for $100-200 euros each.  Which did have a certain appeal…  However, he said that Ann Frank is more strict on ticket times so to do that first.   He called ahead to the Van Gogh museum for us and confirmed we could show up late (whew!).  

But let’s circle back to Thursday afternoon.  We also saw lots of canal cruises on our way from the train station to the hotel.  The station is surrounded by canals and piers for canal boats.   So, this too seemed like a sign that we should take a canal cruise (which is something I don’t think we did on our first visit to Amsterdam!)  (I think we did….) So we stopped in one of those tourist ticket places to check on canal cruises.  Of course, she started waxing poetic about the many different canal cruises that are available in Amsterdam (there are about a gajillion different ones).  The open-air  boat sounded like an ideal option since it was a beautiful sunny day with nary a cloud in sight, but my sister had a vision that could not be ignored.  You see, my daddy visited Amsterdam sometime in the early 60s when he was in the Navy.  And there’s this amazing picture of him in a blazer and way cooler sunglasses than I ever saw him wear,  looking remarkably like James Bond as he steps into a glass covered boat.  And, well, clearly we needed to duplicate my daddy’s photographic masterpiece.  So the ticket agent said it looked most like the Lover’s fully enclosed canal boats.   However, it was such a beautiful day that we decided that the semi-enclosed boats were close enough.  And well, I guess I wasn’t supposed to share that secret with you–  that we only semi-recreated the photo.  But I was also wearing my dirty airplane trravel clothes and not a stylish tweed blazer.  Seriously, can anyone picture my daddy in a blazer?  I cannot even fathom this.  It will always be a mystery because we didn’t discover this picture until long after he had passed away. It was in Aunt Marfie’s attic.   I digress.  

So, we consider the photo a 100% successful re–creation.  Unfortunately, our phone photo editing programs do not have sepia as a filter (crazy huh?) Luckily my favorite cousin is a genius and was able to fix it for us.  Oh, the glories of the internet!

After all this exertion, it was definitely time for a snack. And by snack, I mean French Fries. And not just any French Fry, but The Best French Fry in The Netherlands! Yes! We love when things are the best because who wants second best? Let me tell you, these fries were pretty darn good! The line was about a half hour long, which means that the fries are fresh, hot, and crispy. They were a thick cut fry, with a crisp outside and soft inside. They are served in a paper cone. You eat them with a wooden pitch fork. And, the sauce menu. I don’t even know what the options were. The one I got was some mustard, mayo, spice mix that my sleep- deprived brain can no longer remember. And for some reason, the cheese sauce was vegan with hints of vinegar. (Not being vegan, I have no idea– is vinegar flavored cheese normal?!) I ate it anyways and scraped every last drop of cheese sauce off the side of the paper cone. We just got the small order of fries, but it was literally an entire meal worth of fries. We gave it our best effort, but were not able to eat all the fries. Actually, the sauce doesn’t make it all the way to the bottom of the cone and they are kinda cold by the time you make it to the bottom of the cone, which leads me to believe you aren’t supposed to eat them all. It’s only logical, right?

Having gotten only a couple hours of sleep on the airplane, we were pretty much walking zombies by this point in the day. We headed back to the hotel to charge our phones and rest our feet. We weren’t supposed to nap, but that plan lasted about 4 minutes and 12 seconds. Needless to say, we took a power nap.

We forced ourselves to leave the hotel by 6, so that we could roam the streets of Amsterdam. We were hunting for a grocery store so that we could buy some Dutch yogurt. Or, really, any yogurt. Yogurt makes me happy. A yogurt a day keeps the doctor away. Interestingly enough, the mini marts can’t sell alcohol after 4 pm. Not sure if this is to prevent displays of touristic public drunkenness or to encourage liquor sales at restaurants and bars. Not that I wanted any liquor. I wanted yogurt. And candy.

We were back to the hotel by a little after 8. Which gave us time to eat our yogurt and shower and be in bed by sunset.

And, that is Day 1 in a nutshell. Day 2 will be a separate post. I am sure you are tired of reading. I am tired of writing for sure.

Bohrn2Wander,

thetwinsontour