Of course, today was another jam-packed day for thetwinsontour.  The ship arrived in Geiranger at 7am and we had to meet for an excursion at 8:45.  Our original plan had been to sleep in and just go to the excursion. But by now, you know that is not how thetwinsontour operate.  We had watched the ship’s video on Geiranger as we were going to bed the night before and immediately changed our alarms so we could be off the ship at 7am.  There’s a huge waterfall that runs through town, just a 10 minute walk from the ship.  There are steps along the side so that you can climb to the top. So, of course we wanted to do this first thing before it was overrun with people. 

I could see our destination from our balcony. This stuff was close! No getting lost!

Of course when we got off the boat, it was raining. Just a light, persistent drizzle. Thetwinsontour have brand spanking new waterproof raincoats, so this did not faze us in the least. We were just about the first ones off the ship, so it seems as if it did faze the other 2,798 passengers on ship. We could see the church we wanted to visit at the top of a hill. An octagonal building built I don’t know when, but it looks really cool! We climbed up, up, up to the back entrance of the church. The gate to the surrounding grounds was closed but not locked, so we walked right in for a closer perusal. However, the front gate was padlocked! Maybe we were breaking the law? Breaking and entering? Trespassing? Being terrible tourists? Hmm, who knows. Luckily, the wall was short and easy to hop over.

Now, let’s talk about this waterfall. It was ferocious. And seemed to come from multiple sources, converging all together in a magnificent display of nature at its finest. I have no idea where this water comes from. They say it is from the snow at the top of the fjords. But I didn’t really see any snow. I think it was hidden by the clouds. As I am sure you can guess, this was the opportunity for a selfie palooza as we made our way down the stairs that ran parallel to the falls. We were on a time crunch, so we didn’t get the amount of photos we would have liked, but we got a decent number. And, can you believe that there are houses around this waterfall? Like you would always here the roar of the falls– even more so than I can always hear the trains in Olathe– because the falls are constant– I don’t think it gets cold enough for them to freeze in winter due to the warm Gulf Stream that runs along the coast of Norway.  I just think that with the constant sound of rushing water, these people must have to pee nonstop.  They were probably greatly impacted during the great toilet paper shortage of 2020. I digress. But that’s an important digression.

Anyways, it’s a beautiful waterfall right through the middle of town. thetwinsontour would gladly live in one of those houses. The view is amazing.

And then it was time to head back to the ship for our 8:45 excursion meeting time. What excursion did thetwinsontour choose? Why kayaking, of course! There’s no experience necessary, but needless to say, having kayaked Lake Olathe on a beautiful summer day in 2018, thetwinsontour are expert kayakers. Expert, I say!

So we walked around the fjord to the kayak departure point where they gave us our life jackets and kayak skirts and a brief introduction to kayaking. Now, these are 2 people kayaks, which are very different from the single person kayaks that we had cruised around beautiful Lake Olathe in.  There’s a rudder that you use to help steer (not an udder as my sister keeps trying to call it). There’s a bit of a learning curve to these.  As you may have guessed, despite this excursion being long over, thetwinsontour are still on this learning curve.  We are just glad that we made it to the kayak without falling on the slippery wooden dock.  They warned everyone that it was slippery, so of course 3 people fell flat on their butts walking to the kayaks.  Yes, this did make us wonder about the physical abilities of some of the other kayakers.  Anyways, we get in our green kayak and start practicing and learning each other’s rhythm. Kayaking is all about being in rhythm.  This should be easy for thetwinsontour, being in sync and all, but my sister may be the worst paddler in the whole world.  There I said it.  And I may not be great at steering, but I have a much better understanding of steering.  She kept telling me that I needed to steer right in order to go left.  Which is not true!  No matter what we did, it wasn’t right.  We quickly got left behind and nearly got stuck in the mangroves (or whatever sort of trees grow along the fjords of Norway).  Finally, the second guide who was supposed to be bringing up the rear with the slow people (its us, we are the slow people, it’s us) comes along and with confusion in his voice says, “Girls, what are you doing?” Really, I think the answer is obvious Stefano, but “We need help.”  So, finally, after rowing backwards and him telling us what to do, we were able to extricate ourselves from the bushes at the side of the fjord. 

And then we were off!  Kind of.  So we zigged and zagged and paddled for all we were worth.  While he just sort of sat there waiting on us, twirling his oar.  After a while, he says, “Girls, I have a special treat for you.  Look up in the top of that tree, a Golden Eagle! Paddle real quiet and we will ge closer so that you can get a good picture of him on your phone.” So we did. Pretty sure this Eagle is always in this tree as it is one of three resident eagles in the fjord, so spotting him wasn’t that rare. After a few minutes of admiring the eagle way up in the top of the tree, the guide says to us, “Girls, so you want to cross some fjords?”  We just kind of look at him because I am not really sure what he means because we are right there floatng in the fjords in our two person kayak.  Before I can formulate a response, he says, “because I don’t think it’s a great idea.  I think we should just stay right here.”  Needless to say, there was a lot of inner rejoicing with thetwinsontour!  We had no idea how we were ever going to catch up with the rest of the group to see the waterfalls that are 7 km away. 

So, he says, “Give me your phone and I’ll get some pictures of you.”  So that is what we did–posed for a couple of pictures, let Stefano assure us that we are not the worst kayakers ever (he’s wrong), and then bask in the glory and the magnificence of the Geirangerfjord.  It is a UNESCO world heritage sight after all due to its outstanding natural beauty.  And you know what? That is exactly what we needed.  To sit there in a tiny kayak surrounded by the mountains of the fjord and just relax and take it all in. Who wants to be busy paddling and missing all that outstanding natural beauty?   I really should have taken a video, but I was too busy just being. 

All too soon, it was time to head back.  Originally, he had told us that less is more when we were paddling.  But then he told us a little more power.  So confusing!  But anyways we went with the little more power.   With me chanting, left, right, left to try to keep us in sync.  Just because we are twins, doesn’t mean that we share the same rhythm. I can’t even clap– I have no rhythm.  Anyways, I was paddling hard. So hard that I kept dipping the sleeve of my raincoat in the water and then dripping water down the inside of my sleeve.  Don’t worry, this is very clean water. It comes from the millions of waterfalls that we see every day in Norway that come from the supposed snow (that I can’t see) at the top of the mountains. It’s not like gross bacteria infested Lake of the Ozarks water.   So we are paddling for all we are worth, still zigzagging all over the fjord.  Seriously, I think they gave us a defective kayak. It would not go straight no matter what I did.  We were much farther out than we thought.  Even though the cruise ship was in our sight most of the time, it’s a really big ship, so it should always be in your sight.  There were several scary moments when speed boats went by and created big waves.  He told us to go at a 90-degree angle to the oncoming boats, but as previously mentioned, we had a defective boat that didn’t steer well.   There was one big splash that left a puddle of water in my kayak skirt, so there was a puddle of water practically in my lap most of the time.  But that was it.  Anways, we were paddling, left, right, left. Over and over again. As fast as we could.  Finally, the last 2 minutes of the paddling we were finally able to go in a straight line.  It was glorious!   We pulled up to the dock, and then all of a sudden, we were surrounded by other kayaks  pulling in right behind us.  Seriously. I have no idea where they came from.  I never saw them. They were nowhere near us when we started to head back to the dock. I didn’t see them as we were paddling back.  I mean, we weren’t going anywhere near a straight line, so I should have seen them at some point. It’s a mystery. 

By this point, I really, really had to pee.   It was noon, and we had been on or near the water for nearly 3 hours.   My pants were wet from where the kayak skirt leaked, and the inside of my right sleeve was wet from paddling so hard.   We walked back as fast as we could, but it was nearly a 20 minute walk.  I kept looking for the public toilets that had seemed to be all over the place during our morning foray to the town waterfall.  Finally! I found one!  And it costs $2.20. That is the most expensive toilet I have ever seen.  I mean, two dollars and twenty cents is a lot of money to pay to pee.   I just couldn’t do it.  Especially with the ship right there in plain sight, just a few more minutes walk.   Obviously, this was the dumbest mistake I have EVER MADE IN MY LIFE!  Why choose to be cheap now?  What is two dollars and twenty cents when your bladder has never been so full in your entire life (except maybe that time we got stuck in the snow on the side of the interstate in Wyoming in 2005 and had to wait forever for a tow truck and then when we made it to the rest stop it was CLOSED. But that was years ago.)  The ship was in sight, and just a  few minutes away. However, remember the foreshadowing I did above when I mentioned it was noon?  Do you know what everyone wants to do at noon? Head to the ship and eat free lunch in the cafeteria!   Everyone and their mother was in line to get back on the ship right then.  We waited in line nearly half an hour while bemoaning the fact that we should have just paid $4.40 for us both to pee.  It was painful and torturous. There is no reason it should take those people so dang long to go through a metal detector.  Pick up the pace, people! 

We had to stop at the first bathroom we found. Luckily, they are everywhere on the ship.  There was no way I could make it to the 6th floor and the other end of the ship to our room.  So after going back and changing our of our wet clothes it was time to join the masses for lunch on the ship. 

Now, due to the walk/waddle back to the ship, waiting in line to board said ship, changing our clothes, eating in the busy cafeteria, etc, it was after 2pm before we were ready to head back into town.  There wasn’t time to do any of the other hikes outside of town, so we just had to go back to the same waterfall in the center of town.   This time, we approached it from the bottom instead of the top, so we climbed the millions of stairs to get to the top. And there were a lot of people in the way! We also did some shopping. But that goes without saying. Nothing keeps thetwinsontour out of souvenir shops.  Nothing! 

And that pretty much sums up the day in Geiranger.  Now, here’s a few facts about Geiranger. It is a UNESCO World Heritage sight because of its beauty.  It is also a town of just 200 people.  Yes, 200 people.   Due to its exceptional beauty, it also sees over a million tourists a year.  That’s a million tourists, mostly from cruise ships  from May to September.  There were also quite a few people camping there, so not all cruise tourists.   Knowing those numbers, it now makes sense as to why both of the kayaking guides were from Italy and working in Norway for the summer.  It takes a lot of people to handle a million visitors.   

Now, we had prepped for the departure through Geirangerfjord.  During our failed kayak trip, we were supposed to kayak all the way to see the 7 Sisters Waterfall, the most beautiful  and most photgraphed waterfall in all of Norway. Needless to say, we did not get to behold the beauty of said waterfall from our green kayak. Our guide had told us it was on the right-hand side.  But our room was on the left-hand side, so our balcony would be absolutely useless today!  Up to the pool deck to enjoy a piña colada and the scenic view. 

So we approached the 7 Sisters Waterfall and oohed and ahhed as appropriate.  There is also another larger waterfall nearly dircetly across from the 7 Sisters that I was trying to take pictures of without losing my spot on the railing to get the best view of the 7 Sisters. It really was spectacular.  But then, do you know what the ship captain did? He turned that ship around in a complete 360 turn!  That way, everyone could see both sides of the waterfall regardless of being port or starboard.  The thing is, that captain turned a giant cruise ship in a 360-degree turn with far more ease than thetwinsontour were able to turn our defective kayak in a 360 turn.  Amazing and disgusting at the same time. So with that, I am going to end this.  Because, really, what can top that?

Love,

thetwinsontour