Greetings from Greenland!

Today is a lesson in flexibility and going with the flow. The schedule and all of our carefully planned activities have been thrown out the window, washed out to sea, and eaten by a whale. What is the problem, you ask? FOG!

The fog is wreaking havoc across Greenland. All flights in and out of Ilulissat have been canceled for yesterday and today, including the one we are supposed to be on. Tomorrow isn’t looking promising either. But, no worries, Air Greenland has kindly rebooked us. For Thursday. Today is Sunday. The main problem  with this plan  is our flight home leaves on Wednesday, which our clever readers  will note is the day before our rescheduled  flight back to Nuuk. There are no roads out of here (which the thousands of cars cruising the 3 streets through town must not realize).The only way out is by air or by sea. Not that I could find a boat (or paddle a kayak), but it is even too foggy for the fishermen to go out. That means 4 extra days in Ilulissat. Ilulissat may be Greenland’s third largest city, but there isn’t really that much to do here.

We spent our morning trying to book accommodations for tonight. Which is not easy when everyone is stuck in town with no place to go. The hotel we are staying at offered to book us in one of their deluxe private cabins, as that was all they had available. Of course, they have dynamic pricing (the more people looking for a room, the more expensive it gets.) They said it could be anywhere from 3.000-5.000 Kroner a night! That is $450-$700 a night! No way Air Greenland will reimburse that! Best to take our chances–if worse comes to worst, Air Greenland has emergency accommodations available! Of course, there are ony 150 cots set up in the school gymnasium. (The cots seem to be owned by a Filipino lady who has lived in Ilulissat for 12 years and seems to be the coordinator for all catastrophes in town while owning a restaurant, a café, and a steak house a half hour flight away?)

Anyways, we managed to get one room at our same hotel for Sunday night, nothing for Monday. And last night we were able to book our same hotel for Tuesday through Thursday. So hopefully there are no more hiccups.

Sidenote– sitting in my hotel room with the window open and the huskies down the hill are going crazy– must be dinner time.

Ok, so, what to do with our extra day in Ilulissat? Great question. We decided to hike the Yellow Trail today! (We have already done most of the excursions, and everything is closed on Sundays.) Luckily, we have befriended a nice German lady who is also stranded. She is an experienced hiker and much more sure-footed than I am. So, we met up at The Hangout Cafe, but the fog was so dense that we just sat and stared forlornly into the distance. (Picture the look Artichoke gives you at 4:07pm when you haven’t fed her dinner yet, and that was the expression mirrored on our faces.) It isn’t safe to hike in dense fog because you might lose your way if you can’t see the trail markers. There are no ropes to guide you from the house to the barn to milk the cows in a blizzard. You have to be able to see those yellow dots! And then to figure out how to get to said yellow dot, climbing rocks, stomping in mud, and circumnavigating small pools and puddles. While also being awed by the scenery and all it’s gloriousness. Once the fog started to lift a teensy bit, we took off like a herd of turtles for the yellow trail!

Ya’ll know I am clutzy. And I have big feet. And I am not sure-footed. But, I am determined. And not afraid to go on my hands and knees if need be to traverse a perilous spot. Or a non-perilous one. I am not picky. Despite all my precautions, I still managed to slide down a not slippery rock and nearly fall 3 feet to my doom! My feet just slid! Even in my hike-appropriate boots! (They did keep my feet dry in the few sloshy areas we had to cross.) Luckily, I just have a dirty knee on my pants and a small scrape. Nothing broken. But, if I did break a leg, I could probably get airlifted out of here instead of waiting for Air Greenland to get me on a flight…. and throw in a few more passengers to balance the load….. 

Oh, well. I am fit as a fiddle. And my trusty German hiking guide meandered across the rugged terrain with her hands in her pockets, while I carefully and cautiously placed each foot with extreme precision to avoid any further mishaps. This trail was only 2.7 kilometers long, but it took us nearly 3 hours. There were infrequent photo stops–it was so foggy you couldn’t see the water or the icebergs even though they were right there. We were climbing up and down and around all these rocks and boulders. Not really sure if I will be able to move tomorrow, but I am a hiker! I was one with nature! And, this was free! No money spent. (Which is good because credit cards were down across all Nordic countries yesterday and today–and I have no Kroner and very few dollars.) Of course, I am not sure I should ever attempt a hike on my own without a trusty German friend. This may be the last hike I ever do “on my own.”

After trekking halfway across Greenland, your fearless explorers were famished! We headed back downtown to eat at Cafe Iluliaq. By now it was 4 o’clock, and we hadn’t eaten lunch (due to a large, late breakfast and the hike taking 3 hours) We did each have a handful of Tuc Crackers towards the end of our hike–which gave us just enough energy to make it to the cafe. Today, I opted for another Musk Ox burger. I swear, I think this was a full kilo of musk ox.  The burger was huge. I liked my Musk Ox burger the other day better than today’s fare, but this was still tasty and hit the spot. Which is good because it was both lunch and dinner! Even better, our German friend had enough meal vouchers from Air Greenland due to her missed flight that she was able to pay for all of our dinners! Free dinner! (We were told Air Greenland would call us, and we didn’t need to go to the airport for vouchers. Which of course did not happen.)

Never one to pass up an occasion to celebrate important holidays, after lunch/dinner, I drug my weary bones back uphill to the grocery store. You know what I needed, right? Ice cream! It’s National Ice Cream Day. I tried to not get something I could get at home. So I picked out this green thing covered in chocolate. I had no idea what it was and picked it because it was green–for Greenland. What could be better than green in Greenland? Well, the answer is, almost everything. Turned out to be a green popsicle of undetermined flavor with a chocolate covered cap. Quite frankly, it was an odd combination. But I ate my ice cream novelty anyway. Maybe I should have just gotten the $5 Magnum Bar.

We then walked back down the hill and to our hotel–which is on the top of another hill. Taxis to the hotel are $12. Gotta save moolah, if I am going to be spending the foreseeable future here. This was a 20k step day. All I wanted to do was enjoy the ambiance of the hotel room I worked so hard for! I just sat in my chair, writing this blog for your reading enjoyment, watching the fog roll in, and out, and in again, while the sun continued to shine through and blind me.

Tomorrow is another day. We will see what it brings. According to the weather alert I just got, it is dense fog tomorrow morning.

Goodnight! Sleep tight! For some reason the room darkening curtains are about 3 inches too short to cover up the window, and the sun will not set for a few more days. My circadian rhythm is shot!

Sleep tight.
Thetwinsontour

Today is a day we have been looking forward to because we have a full day trip to see Eqi Glacier (but when they say it, it seems like there is an R in there, like eck-ree and say it all in the back of your mouth). Eqi Glacier is a huge glacier farther up north that is supposed to calve a lot.

We started off on the boat at 9am, after taking an overpriced taxi to the meeting point because the City Bus runs on a different schedule on the weekends. I always forget about weekends when I travel. It was kind of drizzly and foggy out, so we were hopeful that there was no fog up at the glacier because that would obstruct our whole view and reason for being there. 

Our boat was divided up into 4 booths and there were 4 groups of people, so we didn’t have to share with any strangers–which was a good thing. It also had a ladder up to the roof, which we could go up on when the boat was stopped. It even had a little bathroom downstairs, which is also a good thing to have on a 6 hour tour. The interesting thing about boat trips in Greenland is that in addition to life vests, they also have to carry safety suits, which I guess are like dry suits to keep you warm in the heart-stopping, hypothermia-inducing, cold water–if only Jack had had a safety suit, we wouldn’t have to wonder if there was room on that door for him with Rose. Speaking of The Door, the iceberg that sunk the Titanic was from Greenland and probably from Ilulissat, where we are staying. The people of Ilulissat will tell you it absolutely, unequivocally, 100% was from Ilulissat. 

Anyways, the schedule was drive for 2 hours to the glacier, bask in the glory of the glacier for 2 hours while eating lunch, and then drive back for 2 hours with a couple of little pit stops along the way. First stop was a cool waterfall because everyone, and thetwinsontour are no exception, loves a good waterfall. We also made a quick stop to see some more cliff-nesting birds.

The Eqi Glacier is supposedly massive, but it looks quite small. It’s a glacier that comes right up to the water, and moves at a speed of 11 meters per day. Whoa! That’s fast for a giant piece of ice! I think.  It does extend 4 km back on land. It makes sounds like thunder as it moves, shifts, and breaks. I think most of the calving was happening on the inside of the glacier (if that’s possible). I heard lots of explosive, rumbling thunder, but only saw some small bits calve once. I kept trying to video just in case though. A wall of ice makes for extremely riveting video. If you are lucky, we will share some to our multiple social media accounts. This is an ideal time to remind you to like and follow thetwinsontour on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and WordPress.

Unfortunately, it did start to rain while we were there. Just a light rain, but it was enough precipitation that I felt the need to dig out my rain coat. Not just any raincoat, my Antarctica raincoat! Look at me using supplies I already owned! So, really it was a great economical decision to come to Greenland since I already have the raincoat! I also brought my waterproof Antarctica pants. Luckily, the weather has been lovely, and the pants have been unnecessary. 

The trip did include a lunch. I have no idea what it was, but it was tasty. I wish I was better at identifying grains. It was either couscous or quinoa, I can never remember which is which, with some veggies mixed in and some bread thing that tasted suspiciously like tuna. They also scooped a block of “black ice” which is super clear ice with no air bubbles out of the water. Then they broke it up with an ice pick and hammer so we could have glacier ice in our Coke! I don’t usually like ice, but no way I was passing up Glacier Ice!

While we ate, our driver told us about how he comes up to Eqi Glacier to seal hunt with his sled dogs. Needless to say, after lunch we cornered him so we could get real information about sled dogs from a real Greenlandic person from Ilulissat, instead of getting it from Danish tour guides that are just here for the summer. It turns out, most of the information we shared the other day was only partially correct. Here is what he told us in no particular order:
*In the summer, they feed the dogs every other day because they are just laying around and sleeping, so they don’t need much. So this is not twice a week like we were told previously.
*His dogs are more like pets, so he feeds them every day.
*His dogs are getting some leftover seal tonight, so they will be very excited.
*Normally, they just get regular old kibble dog food.
*In the summer, he mixes the kibble with water. Dry kibble makes them thirsty, and he needs to make sure they have enough water to last the day. Wet kibble keeps them from getting thirsty, especially if they splash their water out of their bowls like my Lucy Baby used to do.
*He has taught his dogs to sit, roll over, and shake. Everyone teases him about this because apparently you are not supposed to teach your sled dogs tricks.
*I begged him to get coats and clothes for his dogs. I told him he would be Instagram famous if he did. Can you imagine sled dogs in matching coats or banana split costumes racing across the ice and snow? It would be AMAZING!
*There are only 2 “Danish” dogs in Ilulissat. They are drug sniffing dogs that work at the airport.
*North of some settlement that I don’t remember, they are only allowed to have Greenlandic dogs.
*If you take your Greenlandic dogs south, you will be forced to put them down. This happened recently, and it was on the news.
*South of that settlement, there are only “Danish” dogs. Danish seems to refer to every other type of dog. My sweet Artichoke is a Danish dog, or she would be if she lived in Greenland. He said his friend in Nuuk had a small Danish dog that barks a lot–a chihuahua.
*He pays 300 kroner (with the current exchange rate, about $47) per year to the city for his plot of land where he keeps his dogs.  (There is only one backyard in all of Ilulissat or maybe Greenland./ It’s the church parish where the priest lives. So the dogs live just wherever, but not in your yard since there are no yards.You don’t own land in Greenland, just your house.)
*It doesn’t matter if it’s a rocky plot or a grassy plot. All the dog plots cost the same.
*He prefers the stone plots with no grass because that way they aren’t getting dirty rolling around in the mud. The stones also help to file their nails.

That is all of the pertinent dog facts for now because we are going to ignore the unsavory, compassionless side of only keeping the best puppies and sled dogs.

So, as you can guess, I just kept taking pictures of the glacier. We were stopped about 800 meters (just shy of a kilometer) from it for safety. And, that way we could get the whole glacier in without using panorama mode.

Evidently, in the winter the whole area freezes. Boats can’t get up to the glacier because all the hunks of icebergs freeze– and it is solid enough that you can take dog sleds out on it to hunt seals. They can hook the dogs up fan style instead of kindergarteners-holding-a-rope-on-a-field trip style because there are no trees to circumnavigate. They just come to an island as close as they can, park the boat, unload the dogs, and start hunting. (This is a way of life, so we must respect it even if we don’t like it.)

Anyways, after taking a million identical photos, it was time to head back to town. Not gonna lie, the inside of the boat was nice and cozy and my eyes refused to stay open. That is, until the tour guide said the magical word–Whale! We were out that door as quickly as we could go. They even stopped and let us up on the roof for a while. As this appeared to be a single, lone wolf humpback, I stood back and let others get their photos. After a few minutes, it was back downstairs so the boat could speed again. Safety first! If you fell off the roof into the water, in addition to being all wet, you would be dead in 3 minutes. It is that cold– think of all the ice. Think of Jack and The Door.

We were back in town right on schedule at 3pm.  We had planned to do a bit of souvenir shopping at the 2 shops in the city center, but they were closed! And it was another cruise ship day. Imagine being closed with a huge influx of cruisers wandering around town. It just does not make good business sense. 

Walking back to the hotel, we walked past the Fish & Chips food truck and decided that would be the perfect dinner even though we don’t eat fish. However, it was far too early to eat dinner. Do you know what we did? We stopped and asked what time he closed. What great planning! That way we could properly coordinate our hotel departure time with the hours of the Fish & Chips truck. Brilliant! The answer is 7pm, he was open until 7pm.

That gave us a few hours to go back to our hotel.  At this point in our trip, we’ve tried to give up taking a taxi to and from town because that costs about 74 kroner ($12) each time even though its just a 3-4 minute drive. So, we made the 20 minute walk back up that dreaded hill to our hotel, so that we could walk back down it a few hours later.

We made it back to the food truck with plenty of time to spare. This was our most economical meal so far! We decided that we could split the large portion instead of getting two smalls (which would still have been one of our cheaper meals). It was 190 kroner for the meal deal that came with a Coke. Unfortunately, the credit card machine was down and we have not pulled any money out of the ATM because 1. we haven’t really seen an ATM anywhere and 2. we’ve been able to pay with card for everything. Luckily, our German friend that we met had tagged along with us and she had kroner and paid for our dinner.

Back to Fish & Chips, I did confirm that it was fresh Greenlandic Cod caught by the local fisherman that morning. Yes, that fresh! But it, of course, was not caught by the guy working there. We got 4 giant pieces of it. It was quite mild and tasty. However, there was no malt vinegar, just some tarter sauce stuff which was kind of plain and boring. So maybe if you are planning a trip to the food truck you should go to Long John Silvers and grab a few extra packets of malt vinegar. 

After stuffing ourselves on freshly caught and freshly fried cod, we went to find the ATM he told us about. It may be the only one in town? At least its the only one on the map. We knew we were in the right spot because there was a line of about 20 people.  After waiting a while, some people started talking Greenlandic,and the guy in front of us gave up and left. Then someone walked away with no money. Then a lady got some money out and she did a little celebration dance. Finally, it was our turn. I put in my PIN and completed my transaction, but then it was just clocking until it said it could not communicate with my bank. No big deal because stuff like that happens sometimes depending on ATM brand, time of day etc. So we tried my sister’s ATM card, and got the same result. Travel pro-tip: always travel with different ATM and credit card accounts than your travel partner in case of issues like this or lost/stolen cards. You should not both bring cards from the exact same account because if you have to put a stop on the account, what will you do with no working card? Who even knows how or where to Western Union money anymore? It’s also a good idea to have a debit account with a small amount of money that you use only for travel, that way if you lose the card, the bad people don’t have access to your life savings. It’s best to get a debit card that does not have transaction fees like Schwab because those fees can add up quickly, especially if the bank/ATM limits the amount of money per withdrawal. Great tips, even if they did not help me this time. I later found out that the credit network used in Greenland, Denmark, and most of Scandinavia was down. It was a huge issue impacting millions of people.

On that long winded note, I am going to call this enough for one day. Have a good night!

Love,
thetwinsontour

There are so many whales in Greenlandic waters, it is impossible to not see them. That is, unless you are thetwinsontour. Remember that midnight ice fjord cruise we took the other day? They ALWAYS see whales swimming around the icebergs. ALWAYS. There is even a name for the tunnels that form in the icebergs–whale garages because whales like to hang out there in the rain so that they don’t get wet (at least that’s the story they tell the tourists.) Did we see any whales amongst the glorious icebergs? Nope! Not a single one.

It’s also really common to see whales as you are walking along the boardwalk to get to the iceberg vista. We walked there twice and did not see a whale.

I’ve also heard people say that they watched whales frolicking in the bay from their hotel room windows.  My room has a giant window facing the bay. Have I seen a single whale from my hotel room? Nope! Not a single one.

So disappointing!

We decided today is the day we are finding some whales! When we looked last night, most of the whale watches were fully booked, but we did find a 10am tour. This seemed ideal because we could do this in the morning, eat lunch, and then have the afternoon free to explore or hike. The perfect plan! We even walked down the hill to the harbor last night to scout out our meeting place and time the walk from the hotel. We were super prepared!

This morning, we walked down our pre-scoped out route to the harbor, and then we realized it was cruise ship day which means mass chaos and complete pandemonium. There were people in matching blue coats everywhere. No one looked like they were there for a whale watch tour. I kept scanning the crowd for someone to confirm that I was indeed in the right place and had indeed found the right spot during our reconnaissance. I finally found a friendly looking Danish guy that was not with the cruise ship crowd, and he confirmed I was indeed in the correct place, and the boat would show up soon. That was a relief because I was worried I would become one with the faceless cruise ship masses and miss my whale watch. Finally we saw a little yellow boat with the tour company name pull up next to the cruise ship tender. What a relief!

Do you know why I couldn’t find anyone else that looked like they were on our whale watch? Because we were the only 2 people! It ended up being a private tour even though we booked it at the last minute. It was a tiny little boat, so it would have been crowded with more people.With our hearts full of hope, we headed north to the heart of whale country.  The driver said he can usually see them right near the harbor, but we saw nothing. We drove and drove with our eyes constantly scanning the horizon,  but we couldn’t find any whales.

Finally, after about an hour, we stopped by a cliff full of nesting birds. There were thousands of them sqwacking and flying around.  It is a government protected site.  Our driver wasn’t sure if they migrate or are there year round because he is from southern Greenland just here for a summer job. While we took pictures of the evil birds, he scanned the horizon for whales. Alas, there were none. We started back to town, ever vigilant for signs of whale life. It was like we were living in a wide, wide world without wonderous whales (can’t think of anymore Ws to continue the alliteration at the moment). We spotted some seals, but they dove deep before we could even grab our cameras. So sad.

Before we knew it, our 2.5 hour whale watch was over, and we had not seen a single whale. I am not sure who was more upset, the driver for not delivering any whale sightings or thetwinsontour for being under a whale curse. I get the feeling that usually whales are just like the squirrels and birds in Snow White’s forest, just flocking around and impossible to avoid because they are dancing at your feet.

With heavy whaleless hearts, we headed back up the hill to our hotel. But, as you should know, thetwinsontour do not take no for an answer when it comes to whales! We were determined that today would be a whaley great day!

I pulled up my phone and found a whale watch for 3pm, and I BOOKED IT WITHOUT THINKING TWICE. Talk about last minute–we only had about an hour and a half before our second whale watch of the day. We quickly scarfed down suitcase food and suitcase snacks for lunch. Sorry, I do not have time to explain the intricacies of purse snacks versus backpack snacks versus suitcase snacks. This is a blog about whales, not the eating habits of thetwinsontour.

We raced back down the hill to the boat dock. This time around we knew how to avoid the cruisers. We saw a little green boat powering into the bay, but the cruise tinder was hogging the dock while they waited on one person to hobble down the hill. As soon as the tinder pulled away, another boat swooped into the dock. Our little green boat was determined, though! They just hooked up to that interloper and had us cut across that boat to get to ours. Then we were out of there–moral of the story–don’t mess with the green boat!

This was not a private tour this go around. There were 6 other people. Luckily, the outside viewing area was large enough for all of us. They told us we were headed about half an hour north because whales had been spotted there. I was immediately skeptical as we had been north earlier and there was not a single whale. However, like I said–never doubt the little green boat. They quickly led us to a group of 3 humpback! (It probably helps that there were 2 other boats stopped watching.)

As you might have guessed, it was amazing! You never know where the whales will surface, kinda like whack-a-mole. However, the best trick is to watch the sea gulls. If the gulls start squawking and converging on the water, this is where the whales will be! The whales are pushing fish to the surface, and those gulls want that fish! (Especially since there is no place for them to get French fries.) Then you will hear the whoosh of air coming from the whale’s blowhole, then their backs swimming along, arching into the water, and finally a tail fin flip as they dive down into the water for more fish. Over and over. There is about 5 minutes or so between each cycle. We watched this phenomena for 2 full hours. I was actually getting whale fatigue, when all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye, I saw a whale breach completely out of the water! Of course I didn’t catch it on camera, and neither did anyone else. I never saw them do it again. I don’t even know how these things can leap in the air like that. I can barely hoist myself out of the swimming pool. These things are 14 meters long and weigh 25 tons! They are massive!

Lesson learned, I did not take my eyes off the water for the remainder of the tour. Of course, the whale never breached again.

Now, for the record, here is something thetwinsontour will never do: kayak amongst whales! Crazy tourists (I think they were German) showed up and put kayaks in the water and kept paddling toward the whales! Just, nope! What if they flipped you? How can you take photos and paddle for dear life at the same time? Just nope. We headed back to the harbor soon after the kayaks showed up, so I didn’t have to watch them gleefully risking life and limb.

For dinner we decided to walk into town for a local experience. We had decided on the Ilulissat Café for–wait for it–Pad Thai! (How so many restaurants have Thai food, I do not know.) This variation of Pad Thai was good, but with a Greenlandic twist–green beans and baby carrots!

That pretty much sums up Day 4 in Greenland. Much more adventure still to come!

Love,
thetwinsontour

This morning, we had our guided walk of the boardwalk to the icebergs that we did on our own yesterday. so this time we learned about the history of what we saw yesterday. Our guide told us about all of the waves of Inuk people that came to Greenland thousands of years ago. Of course, I don’t remember the details, and they would just bore you anyway.All I remember is that there are no written records and that they have never found a burial ground. We saw the icebergs again and took more pictures. Lots more pictures. I think they looked completely different from the day before, but they looked pretty much the same in my photos. I guess you had to be there. 

After the hike, we were looking at the map of the other trails. The red trail looked fairly easy because we saw people walking on it. it was also the shortest of the trails. It said it was only one kilometer, so less than a mile. We decided it was within our hiking skills and abilities, so we stayed to walk that hike. And of course, as you would expect, within about two minutes, I stepped in a big sloshy, marshy pit of water-logged grass and soaked my tennis shoe. I had thought about wearing my boots, but didn’t think that would be necessary because we were walking on an easy boardwalk–that we had walked on yesterday with no problems while wearing tennis shoes. I told my sister we needed to go back to the hotel to change shoes and socks. She is so mean! She said that I would have to go back by myself because she was doing the hike. Of course, within another minute, her shoe was wet, too. Ha ha.

It was only a kilometer, so we stuck it out. With squishy socks and shoes. I just kept stepping in water. It was unavoidable. It would have been the perfect day to where my hiking boots. At least I was wearing high-quality socks–no blisters!

Once again, when we got to the end of the trail, there were icebergs and mosquitoes. It was a nice view that made up for the squishy shoes. So my advice to you is, wear your boots! Even if you think you are going to be walking only on a wooden boardwalk because you may end up walking a bonus, one kilometer trail and getting your feet wet.

Second verse, same as the first. I’m Henry the 8th I am…. What are the rest of the words? My father would be so appalled that I have forgotten the lyrics.

So, after our “rigorous” hike through mud and slushy mosquito infested lands, we were in desperate need of sustenance. Local delicacies were in order! We decided to go for Musk ox burgers! So odd, that you can get a hamburger and call it a local delicacy because it is musk ox and not beef. I mean, it came with French fries and a drink. That’s the full meal deal!

My take on musk ox– I liked it. The hamburger patty was a little looser and more crumbly than an American burger, but that could be how they process their meat. The flavor was good. Not too gamey. Just an unusual hamburger flavor. And a bit greasy. Of course, the thousand island dressing was a nice use of condiments.

Then we were off to the sauna! Yes, we went hiking with our bathing suits and flip flops in our bags–this we knew to prepare for, unlike the mud. We booked a sauna because I had seen a photo on Instagram– a sauna with a view. And it looked magical! Of course, it would be even more magical if I understood saunas. The room was heated to a toasty 82 degrees. They use Celsius over here. So, that is hotter than hot. It is like 150 Fahrenheit. My body was not made for that kind of heat! And, there is this bucket of water you can mix with essential oils and pour over the hot coals. You know what that does? It makes it hotter! Yikes! But, if it gets too hot, there is a tank of ice cold water outside to dunk your clammy, sweaty body in. So, then, your body is burning up, but your toes are so cold that they might just fall off from frostbite. Surprisingly, the 50 degree air outside was quite comfortable, even in a wet suit! So, we went back and forth, back and forth. For an hour. We tried to get some good pics, but no one looks good in 150 degrees–you get all flushed. It was quite the experience! And you are just a silhouette if you take a picture in front of the window and breathtaking view.

Remember those wet shoes and socks? We put them in the sauna! Genius! By the time we left, our socks and tennisshoes were no longer sloshy–just damp! Which turned out to be a good thing because we couldn’t find a taxi when we left the sauna and wound up walking all over town trying to find one. There was no one at the sauna to call a taxi for us when we were done. We were there all alone. We really wanted to splurge on a taxi instead of taking the City Bus, or worse yet, walking. Unfortunately, we had to walk a bit to get to the taxi stand. It was the busy time of day, so even at the taxi stand, we could not manage to hail a taxi, and a nice Greenlandic man was showing us how to call for a taxi when one pulled up. I was so relieved to hop into the back of that ooverpriced conveyance for my 4 minute ride back to the hotel.

After the day’s many adventures, there was no way I was leaving the hotel again that night. I just didn’t have it in me. We decided to eat in the hotel. Talk about expensive. Every dish was some type of fish or seafood except one–the Arctic burger.

What is the Arctic Burger you ask? It’s a burger made of a blend of musk ox, reindeer, and lamb. It was significantly more expensive than our musk ox lunch burger at 265 kroner which currently equates to $41 because the value of the dollar sucks right now and just keeps getting worse. When I was researching where to eat on this trip about 2 months ago, 265 kroner was about $37. I digress, this burger tasted less like a regular Angus Beef burger than the plain musk ox did. I think it just had a lot more lamb in it than it did musk ox and reindeer. Or maybe the reindeer just has a very strong flavor. It was OK, but not as good as the musk ox. I’d rate it 3.5 stars on a 5 star scale.

And there you have Day 3 in Greenland!

Love,

thetwinsontour

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Well, the trip has just begun, and we are already behind. Show of hands, who is surprised by this? So, time for a succinct synopsis. Greenland is great. Done!

Until tomorrow!

Oh, wait. You want details? Demanding, aren’t you?

So, Day 1 doesn’t really count. That was just flying to Greenland. The flight itself was only 4 hours from Newark. But this new airport is too small! There are no landing bridges, so you will always have to climb down stairs like you are in the tropics or Air Force 1 regardless of winter weather. Good thing we are here in July. Also, the passport control line was out of control. They did not build the waiting area big enough for a plane full of people to fit inside. We were queuing up outside the building! It was wild. Again, I don’t know what you would do in bad weather.

After we made it through customs, it was off to the hotel. We had seen a café 2 doors down and were heading there for dinner, when out of the corner of our eye, we spied a glorious sight: Thai Food! Yep! Our first meal in Greenland was Pad Thai. It was so good, I could have eaten 2 plates.

After stuffing ourselves full of Pad Thai, we strolled around Nuuk. It was 9 o’clock at night, and the sun was shining bright. We needed to stretch our bones (is it possible to stretch bones?) and get a few steps in before bed because we had an early morning wake-up call to look forward to. The airport shuttle was coming for us at 5am. Of course, breakfast wasn’t until 6. So, once again, we got cheated out of an included meal and had to settle for airport breakfast fare.

However, these early morning shenanigans meant we got into Ilulissat at 8am! The hotel was like a 5 minute drive from the airport. But, we go to check-in, and the lady told us we had to wait until 3pm because that’s when they start check-in. She told me to sit down and wait. I asked her what I was supposed to do, and she just shrugged. Luckily, the other receptionist told us there’s free Wi-Fi and the restaurant opens at noon. I stared at her blankly and asked what we could do instead. Then she told us about going to town on the “City Bus.” It runs every 30 minutes, and one of the stops is the hotel parking lot. It costs 15 kroner (about $2.34 c/urrently), and they only take credit card. She told us to get off in the city center, which we will know because there’s a “blue building.” But, umm, every other building is blue. At least 3 stops in a row were at blue buildings. And nothing looked promising. We finally got off in front of a grocery store, which was also blue. We went inside and got some snacks! Then we started wandering. Fellow bus riders suggested we get off at that particular blue building and head for a view of the Icebergs. So, we did!

Along the way, we found the sled dogs. Gonna throw in some details I have gleaned since then. There are 5,000 people in Ilulissat and 3,000 dogs. These are working dogs. Never pets. Never do they get bomb pops or to go for car rides for pup cups at the coffee shop, or to recycle glass. These dogs are chained up and separated from one another. Per Greenlandic law, all dogs over 6 months must be chained. Puppies are allowed to roam free, but they just lay there and sleep. Some have dog houses. Some have pallets. Some have nothing. They are purebred Greenlandic Huskies. To protect the breed, no dogs can be imported. That means there are no labradoodles, no chihuahuas, no pugs, no Artichokes… And if the dogs leave Greenland, it is permanent exile–they can never come back. You aren’t allowed to pet the dogs, but really, they stink. Not to mention, they need a good brushing and a bath. But, if one of them bites you, they have to put down the whole pack. They are worried that YOU might pass disease to the dogs and wipe them all out. And, rumor has it they only eat 1 -2 times a week in the summer! All they are doing is laying around in the summer, not burning calories. Can you imagine if Artie Girl was fed 2x a week instead of 2x a day?! She starts following me around the house at 3:30, giving me the eye at 4:00, and pawing at my leg at 4:27. Meal time is serious business in our household!

Ok, sorry. Easily distracted by dogs. Anyways, there is a lovely boardwalk trail that meanders through some verdant marshes. You have to stay on the path to avoid killing the native plants, grasses, mosses, and other flora. They have a short growing season, so flora needs all the help it can get. And, the best part? It is a UNESCO World Heritage Sight! (I know this because there was a plaque in the boardwalk that said so.) We knew that we had a tour to walk the same path the next day, but figured this way we could at least get our pictures and selfies done in advance without annoying people getting in the way and so that we wouldn’t be rushed on our tour. It was a great plan. Because, you all know, I love a good selfie! Planning the perfect photo and relaying your vision to your sister takes time. A whole lot of precious time.

Where does this amazingly well-maintained, Unesco-protected boardwalk go you ask? Well, to those icebergs floating around in the icefjord. And they were amazing and beautiful and all the things. The only bad part was the mosquitos. Sorry to offend your beloved beliefs of entomology, but yes, there are indeed mosquitos in Greenland.

We had read about the mosquitos and added mosquito head nets to our Amazon cart months ago. We even brought them to Greenland, but had no idea we should have dug them out from the depths of our suitcases before leaving them in the luggage storage room. Those mosquitos were fierce–swarming around my face and flying up my nose.You can’t even imagine the sheer quantity of bugs flying around. It’s unfathomable.   Miracously, I have yet to get a bug bite. I get more bug bites on a Monday night watering my mother’s flowers.

 This is not short, sorry. I’ll do better.

Lunch: Pizza. Not brave enough to try the reindeer pizza. Got Hawaiian and New York instead.

Afterenoon: City walking tour. Walked around the town.  Our guide is just here working for the summer from Denmark. He suggested we google things for more information, so you can do that too. 

Finally, able to head back to hotel since it is well past 3pm now. Short nap because so, so, so sleepy.

7pm alarm clock wakes me up. Time to prepare for evening icefjord cruise. Hit snooze several times.

8:11 pm catch City Bus back to town.

8:30pm meeting time for icefjord cruise

9pm departure

Might need a few more words to adequately describe the majestic, awe-inspirigness of the icefjord. Or a ghost writer. I have been watching instagram videos of big words that I should work into my everyday conversations but can’t think of any at the moment.

The boat was fully covered, but you could also go outside on the deck. I had thought we were travelling far afield, but we just hung a quick left and meandered through the icebergs that we had seen earlier in the day through a mist of mosquitoes. There were so many icebergs! Just, like, floating there in the ocean like they aren’t some kind of pre-historic monstrosity. Each one more craggy and jagged than the last. But some looking super smooth like the edges were cut with a cheese slicer. They say it will take the really big hunks of icebergs about 5 years to melt into nothingness, but I don’t know about that. Some of the icebergs are brown and dirty looking, but that is not from pollution. Nope. That is from the sediment of the ocean bottom. When they get top heavy and start doing backflips and cartwheels and fighting with their neighbors, they scrape along the bottom of the seabed and get all dirty. Of course, some could also be sediment lines indicative of volcanic action eons ago. I really don’t understand the minituae of all that, but I am like a sponge, just sucking up all the knowledge that I can and relaying it to my faithful readers.

And, of course, this was a midnight cruise. We are above the Arctic Circle. In the summer. There are 24 hours of daylight. I had to wear my sunglasses at midnight because of the strong glare of the sun off the surface of the ocean and the icebergs. I just kept snapping pictures. And more pictures.

You know the problem with a midnight cruise? It ends at midnight. And, guess what? At midnight there is no City Bus to take you back to the hotel. No shuttle. Not a taxi to be seen. Good thing I took that power nap! And it was broad daylight. Because, you got it, I started walking back towards the hotel. There really was no other option. Luckily, about 3 minutes in, lo and behold, a taxi came flying down the hill. I waved my hand at him so fast, but he just kept on going. Boo hiss. But, I think his reflexes were delayed. He slammed on his brakes so hard. We jumped into that taxi, and 3 minutes and $12 later we were back at the hotel. Best $12 I ever spent!

Of course, I am like a little kid–can’t go to bed if it isn’t dark yet. I was ready to party! Well, at least play on my phone for hours. 24 hour daylight is havoc on the sleep schedule.

Ok, this was supposed to be brief and cover days 1-3. Oops. Not brief. Nor did we discuss day 3. Saving that for the next installment.

Toodles!

thetwinsontour

PS. Forgot to mention that we are staying in the only 4 star hotel north of the Arctic Circle in the whole world.

Why Greenland? The easy answer is because we’ve never been there. The longer answer is because Greenland just finished building a new international airport in November, and as of June, it is now possible to fly direct from Newark to Nuuk. Previously, the only way to get to Greenland was via Reykjavik, Iceland, or Copenhagen, Denmark–a daunting, time-consuming journey for someone from Kansas City. The actual answer is much more complicated. Thinking about Greenland just makes me giddy and elated–like my heart is full of helium and will just float out of my chest if I am not careful. I still can’t believe all the stars aligned to bring my most enduring travel desires to fruition. I’ve dreamed of this for so long, but it was always too complicated and cost-prohibitive to even contemplate the possibilities. Unfortunately, it hasn’t gotten any more affordable, but I don’t let something trivial like money stop me anymore. I guess the first time that I realized it was “possible” to go to Greenland was when we were visiting Iceland in November of 2011 (insert that fun fact about Iceland being green and Greenland being covered in ice that is not a fun fact because every single person and their cat named Steve knows this). We were flipping through the excursions binder at the hotel trying to plan our day, and there it was: Greenland. The mere idea of Greenland was outlandish and secretly thrilling. Tempting as it was, we did not have enough time or money to just flit over to Greenland for the day. I don’t even remember any of the details other than Greenland, but Greenland is all I need to know.

The cinematic classic, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty starring Ben Stiller also ignited our passion to visit Greenland. We may have been the only 3 people in the world to see it (we took Momma to see it on Christmas Day, 2013) because the rest of you were too traumatized to see it from being forced to read the story and watch the Danny Kay version during your 7th grade Unified Studies class. Anyways, there’s a scene where he goes to Greenland and rides a skateboard down this long empty road. It’s so beautiful and breathtaking and inspiring, I thought, if Walter Mitty can go ride a skateboard in Greenland, then so can I! Go to Greenland, I mean, not ride a skateboard. However, as I was searching for the clip on YouTube, I learned it was actually filmed in Iceland! I feel so betrayed!

Fast forward to the Fall of 2024. I remember laying in my bed (because this was just last fall, and my memory is not that bad), doomscrolling through Instagram when I first read about the new international airport in Nuuk that is big enough for international commercial jets to land, about the first ever direct flights from the US. I remember yelling for my sister to quit talking to Artichoke in the hallway and come talk to me instead. I remember her sticking her head in the door with an annoyed what do you want? I remember breathlessly telling her about Greenland. And that’s all she needed to hear. One magic word: Greenland.

It was decided, we WOULD be going to Greenland in 2025, no ifs, ands, or buts. The very next day, and many days thereafter, we started reading blogs about visiting Greenland and looking for tour companies. Within no time, we had this trip booked.

And that’s how we are headed to Greenland.

Love, the twinsontour

PS. I would like to point out, we are world famous bloggers! There are 12 people that follow our wordpress blog. Twelve has always been my lucky number! But seriously, only 12? What is wrong with you people? I’m going to need a few more of you to subscribe if I am ever going to be able to quit my day job and pursue my dreams to travel the world eating exotic candy and cookies.

Footnote: I  just learned this last week, and confirmed per the Google, Air Greenland did have a direct flight from Baltimore during the summer of 2007.  So, for just one summer 18 years ago, it was possible to fly direct from the US to Greenland. Needless to say, I missed out on that opportunity.