If our birthday is the reason for the trip, gorillas are the inspiration and ultimate end game. We’ve been desperate to see gorillas in the wild forever! Finally, we can say that we have done it!

In Uganda, the gorillas mostly live in Bwindi Impenetrable Forest. It’s a tiny little park at only 331 km², but what it lacks in size, it makes up for in excitement! It’s home to the world’s largest population of Mountain Gorillas, with over 600 gorillas.

Bwindi was not declared a national park until 1991. The gorillas were nearly extinct due to the bush meat trade. No, people don’t eat gorillas, they eat antelope. Gorillas just get caught in the crossfire. They can get caught in snares or killed by antelope hunters when they get in the way. So, in 1991 the government kicked all of the Batwa People (Pygmies) and made them live in the village. Now the gorilla numbers are steadily increasing. I can’t remember how many gorilla families there are, but most of them have been habituated.

Habituated. What a fancy word. What does that mean? It means that they are used to people and don’t care if you stand around and take their picture. How do they get habituated? People go and find them. The gorillas get angry and chase them away. The people very smartly run away. Then, the next day, they go find the gorillas again. The gorillas get angry and chase them away. The process is repeated every day until the gorillas stop chasing them away. I think it takes about 2 years to fully habituate them. If we were brave souls, we could have participated in gorilla habituation and spent 4 hours chasing gorillas. Needless to say, we are not that brave, fearless, or athletic!

There are strict rules for visiting the gorillas. You go in groups of 8 people plus the guide, guard, and porters. Obviously, there are a limited number of groups that go each day. Each group goes to a different gorilla family. There is no doubling up and all ending up with the same group of gorillas. The chaos that happened with the chimpanzees doesn’t happen with the gorillas.

We were assigned to track the Kutu family, which means ear in the local language. Supposedly, one of them had a unique looking ear. Hence, the ear family. How do we track gorillas? Well, there’s a group of trackers that goes out in the morning and actually tracks them (based on where they left them the day before). The guide takes you in the general direction and waits to hear from the trackers. This is not as easy as it sounds because, as one might expect, there is horrible cell phone reception in the forest. At one point, we stopped for about 15-20 minutes trying to find signal. They don’t want us to walk in the wrong direction and have to walk back or to scale a mountain unnecessarily. As it was, we were walking on very narrow trails on the side of the mountain with very steep ledges. Most of our hike was on fairly level ground through the forest. There were a few tricky spots and minimal climbing. Although, I was super glad for my porter.

Let’s pause and discuss porters. Anyone who goes gorilla trekking and does not hire a porter is an absolute idiot. And that’s a fact, not an opinion. They carry your backpack for you (My camera is heavy! Not to mention the weight of two bottles of water.) That way, your backpack doesn’t get in the way while you are climbing or traversing a treacherous part of the trail. But the best part is they grab your hand and help you through slippery and tricky parts of the hike. The minimum charge is $20 and more if you are able. Being a porter is a coveted position, and they only get to do it a couple days a month because there are so many people that want to do it. (Now would be a good time to pause and Google the average salary in Uganda. Go ahead. I’ll wait.) Obviously, we paid Blessing and Alexander more than $20. We are a lot of work! Even if you don’t think you need a porter, you should hire one. Even if you don’t have a bag, you should hire a porter, but you should have a bag to carry your water in. What’s another $20 after what you spent to go Gorilla Trekking? Seriously. Support the local economy! Positively impact the community! Help save a gorilla by showing there is more money in tourism than poaching. Don’t be cheap now! Just hire a porter!

Where was I? Oh, we were with a family of 6 from Isreal that looked like they just woke up and said lets go see some gorillas. They didn’t have gloves, so they had to rent them for $5 each. I got mine on sale at the end of the season at Menards for only $7. (Pause to sing–Save big money at Menards…). The parents each hired a porter, but wouldn’t let them hold their hands. The mom had knee surgery 4 months ago and needs the exercise to get better? (like can’t you do that tomorrow? Let him help you!)

It’s hard to say how long we walked to get to the gorillas because we stopped several times. The first time, Sylvia (the guide) sent Joeffrey (the guard) ahead as tribute. We had passed some elephant poop, so I thought she was sacrificing him to the elephants. She claimed she sent him to determine which fork in the road we should take to avoid unnecessary backtracking, but I know better. And we also stopped for about 20 minutes searching for the aforementioned cell signal. It was about an hour and a half after we started that we met up with the trackers.

So, you quickly dig out your camera, drink some water, put on your face mask, and leave your walking stick with the porter. The porters aren’t allowed to go around the gorillas in order to minimize human contact. Then you turn the corner and enjoy the most amazing hour of your life. We were told to keep 20 meters away from the gorillas, but thetwinsontour don’t know the metric system, and apparently, neither do the guide or tracker. They had us within about 5-6 feet of the gorillas. They were everywhere! The Kutu family has 13 members.

One of them even ran up and hit me in the arm before turning around and running back under his shade tree. Unfortunately, there is no video of my near demise, so you will just have to take my word for it. He also hit my sister a few minutes later, but again, there is no videographic evidence. It was the greatest moment of my life!

It’s difficult to get out of their way because we were standing on a bit of incline surrounded by vegetation. Luckily, we did not have to move too much after that. We found them at nap time, rather than feeding time. That means that they are all laying around together instead of moving around looking for their favorite snacks. This makes for AMAZING pictures! We took so many! This should not be a surprise to any of our faithful readers.

The gorillas laid around so we could behold their magnificence while the babies climbed trees and did cute baby gorilla things. Oh, and the Silverback farted. A lot. Gorillas do not like the sun, so they kept seeking shadier areas to rest in, but at a slow and leisurely pace.

Unfortunately, an hour with gorillas is over even faster than my lunch break at work. All too soon, we were bidding adieu to our furry friends and heading back to the porters and our bags. You are not allowed to drink water in front of gorillas or eat in front of them either. They don’t want the gorillas to decide they like fruit snacks or granola bars and become aggressive like those videos of little monkeys that steal your cell phones in Indonesia.  You also can not use a walking stick in front of them because they will see that stick as a sign of aggression. Really, you can’t hold onto a walking stick while taking photos anyway.

Then it was time to trek back to civilization. Miraculously, the trip back was about half as long as the walk in. After clutching the porter’s hand over the tricky, slippery spots, we arrived at a small clearing to eat our snacks and drink more water. Which was about 10 minutes until the end of the hike. We didn’t even have to walk all the way back to the visitor center because there was a road where our guides were waiting to drive us back. All in all, I think I got less than 3k steps in, so little over a mile round trip. This was actually a moderate hike because we are professionals. And parts were slightly grueling. But overall, most of it was pretty level. I think it was called moderate because of the starting point.  We had to cross a little creek bed at the beginning, which makes you think it’s going to be an impossible trek and makes you question your life choices. 

Our clothes got much dirtier doing the chimpanzee trekking than the gorilla trekking because we were not in as thick of vegetation, we walked in a single file line, and we were mostly able to stick to the paths. Our guide, Sylvia, did have a machete to chop at vegetation if it was in the way. And when you get back to the lodge, they take your boots and gaiters off of you. Don’t try to take them off yourself, or they will look at you with sad eyes like Artichoke does when you don’t share your cheese with her. They put some crocs on your feet, and they clean your boots so that they look brand new. Such great service! (And that way, you don’t track mud all over your room.)

I am sure that I have missed a million important things, but that’s all I have for now.

Love,

thetwinsontour

PS.  Oh, oh, oh, I almost forgot. Hot water bottles! They put hot water bottles in our bed each night because its cooler here in the mountains. Such a simple, old-fashioned comfort. I love this part of African safaris! When I noticed that lump under the blankets, it was so hard not to immediately jump into bed and snuggle that hot water bottle with my feet.

Today marks the reason for this trip to Uganda– my birthday! And not just any birthday–this one is a monumental birthday–my Jubilee year. And, every decade deserves an incomparable trip to far flung parts of the planet. Uganda certainly fills all the necessary requirements.

So, it wasn’t a trekking day, but it was a safari day! Have I mentioned how much I love safari? You just never know what you might see. Today was no exception. The game drive started out a bit slow, but then our guide stopped to chat with another safari driver for all the good safari gossip. Before we knew it, we were making a 17-point turn and heading back in the direction we came from. Herbert pulled on his seat belt and took off in hot pursuit of the other safari vehicle. We were speeding along–on the wrong side of the road, mind you–chasing after 2 safari vehicles. We were zooming past elephants, warthogs, and buffalo. Zoom, zoom, zooming. Finally, after about 20 minutes, I had to ask, Herbert, where are we going?! Oh, these guys heard about a lion in a tree. I should have known–only lions and leopard cause that kind of excitement.

And, well, was this maniacal, mad-cap adventure worth it? You bet your britches! There were 4, count them 4, lionesses in a tree! A Euphobia cactus tree! Quite frankly, I think this tree would be very uncomfortable to sleep in, but what do I know? I’m not a big cat. At least there are plenty of branches so you can spread out. Lions sleep in trees to get a better view and to avoid the flies, but mostly, they do it for the Instagram photos.  What a great start to the day! Lions in a tree make any birthday a Great Birthday!

Once you’ve seen lions in an Euphobia Cactus tree, there’s not much else to see. Especially since those lions weren’t showing any interest in hunting a buffalo or a Ugandan Kob. We decided to visit the craft village and do a bit of souvenir shopping. Shopping makes any birthday a Great Birthday!

After that, it was back to the lodge for lunch. Shout out to Elephant Hab Lodge for the towel art cake and Happy Birthday written in flower petals on our beds.  Towel Art makes any birthday a Great Birthday!

Just like those safari ants we mentioned previously, we were very quickly on the go again. This time, we headed to the Kazinga Channel for a boat ride. Yes, the Kazinga Channel! I was not familiar with it either, I just like saying Kazinga. It’s a nice word, isn’t it? Kazinga! The Kazinga Channel makes any birthday a Great Birthday!

We set off down the coastline looking at Kingfisher (birds for you non-ornithologist people out there) and hippopotamus. Then the boat guide, named Innocent, said there was plenty of time later for hippos, and we needed to get to the elephants before the other boats got there and scared them away. So we were off to the favorite spot of the pachyderms. For those of you wondering, we did beat all of the other boats to the elephants. There were tons (I stopped counting at 20) of them just standing around and drinking water and doing elephant things. It was the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. To see the elephants from the water is indescribable. It’s like one of those emotional, life-changing moments. It’s so peaceful just watching elephants be elephants.

Innocent said anyone with a hat could climb up on the roof of the boat for a better view. Luckily, we were both wearing our safari hats which Aldi marketed as gardening hats in theirs Aisle of Shame this Spring–one of our best AOS purchases ever, besides that pink ceramic Christmas tree, but the ceramic Christmas tree doesn’t travel as well as the safari/gardening hat.  AOS makes any birthday a Great Birthday. Oh wait.

I digress, obviously, my sister and I climbed to the roof (probably as complicated as it sounds) to check out the view. My sister was seated at the front, which was probably the safer way to ascend, but I was seated in the back of the boat so I just climbed up from the side of the boat right over the water. Luckily, the German guy was up there to grab my camera for me when I got to the top. Unfortunately, photography gear frequently gets in the way of strenuous athletic endeavors. The German guy went back down below after a few minutes (probably because I crawled in front of him and made him take our picture. We had the whole roof to ourselves with an unimpeded view of my elephants. It was glorious! It was like we were the only people in the world (except for the 9 people below that kept talking) and we had just discovered a new species and decided to call it elephant. Rooftop views of elephants make any birthday a Great Birthday!

After probably 30 minutes, we gracefully descended the roof at the safer spot at the front of the boat and headed off to see the hippos. Innocent was correct. There were plenty of hippos around for our photographic pleasure. We also saw more birds, a monitor lizard, and crocodiles (Supposedly. Sometimes you just lie and pretend to see the crocodile, so they quit asking if you see it?) We saw so much on that 2 hour safari cruise. Highly recommend! 10 stars. Safari cruises make any birthday a Great Birthday!

We had a few extra hours in between the safari cruise and dinner, so we took full advantage of the beautiful infinity pool at the lodge. It’s not 90 degrees like my cousin’s pool, but it was still refreshing. A swim makes any birthday a Great Birthday!

Then, at dinner, as soon as I had finished my dessert, the staff busts out of the kitchen, singing happy birthday and carrying a cake! They kindly verified they had spelled our names correctly in frosting. (Not sure what they would have done if it was wrong, though.) It was good cake. Evidently, the chef is the father of twins, so it made him very happy to make a cake for our birthday. Cake makes any birthday a Great Birthday! (even if it isn’t served with ice cream.)

The next day, we were on the road again! We drove through Queen Elizabeth National Park, which is huge, even if it is only the second largest park in Uganda. Or maybe it’s the African Massage that makes it seem like such a big park.  African Massage is how you refer to bumpy roads, but honestly, the Ugandan version of the African Massage is quite tame.

It was a very slow safari morning. The highlight of the morning was a hyena, and that was before we put the top up. This was the first one we’ve seen in Uganda! It was just running down the road. Herbert was giddy with excitement. He even tried to put his phone on the dash like a dashcam to film it while we were driving. That’s how you know it’s something special. If your guide who does safari all the time is excited, it’s a good thing! Anyways, we were trying to get to the far side of the park called the Ishasha Sector because that’s where the tree climbing lions are most prevalent. It’s a good thing we saw them in the cactus for our birthday because there were no lions to be found anywhere. Herbert stopped every passing safari vehicle and confirmed it,  no tree climbing lions anywhere to be found. They don’t have CB radios here–they just call their friends for the inside scoop or ask the other drivers if there’s anything “good.” We didn’t see any lions, but Herbert’s friend confirmed the lions in the cactus from yesterday were still there today. Makes you wonder if they got stuck on the cactus spines. Like, do we need to call the fire department because there’s cats stuck in a tree?

It is worth pointing out that in the more forested areas of our drive, we saw exactly 5,687,384 baboons. Every single one of them was sitting in the middle of the road. I’m not sure why, but they sit on the paved roads and the dirt roads. They just like sitting in the road regardless of its material. 

Finally, we made it to Bwindi Impenetrable Forest! That means GORILLAS are up next!

Goodbye for now!

Love,

thetwinsontour

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Notice how we are so far behind already that we are doing”parts,” and not “days?” We have been busy non-stop on the go! There are safari ants here in Uganda, and they call them that because they are always on the go with no time for resting. And, boy, I can relate to that!

We’ve done so much, we will never catch up on the blog which is unfortunately pretty normal for us. Let’s give it a shot though.

Chimpanzee trekking! So extraordinary and amazing and awe-inspiring and all the adjectives.

We were in a group of 8 people with a guide named Francis and two guards–one was named Titus and I don’t know the other’s name. Anyways, the guards are armed so they can protect you from aggressive forest elephants and angry chimpanzees. They just shoot “scare shots” in the air if necessary. thetwinsontour did get very excited at the mention of forest elephants–wouldn’t that be A-MAZ-ING? Alas, it was not meant to be. We did however see fresh elephant tracks, elephant dung laden with small orange colored fruit, an elephant “bathtub” where they like to wallow in the mud, and a  CHIMPANZEE eating the undigested fruit scavenged from the elephant dung! Next best thing to an elephant!

Elephant possibilities aside, the star of the show is the chimpanzees. The hike to find them is fairly easy. The trails are well-established and well-maintained. The trail we took had a rickety and sometimes broken boardwalk, but it is still the dry season, so we could just walk beside it. There were quite a bit of tree roots on the path, but nothing of any consequence. We hiked for about an hour. Each group took a different trail in search of chimpanzees, but somehow we all ended up at the same spot josteling for a good view. They do have trackers out looking for chimps in advance. The guard also listens for chimpanzee calls to make sure we are headed in the right direction. Once you find the chimps, you get one hour in their presence. At 9:32 we put on our face masks and suddenly there we were–smack dab in the middle of them. And by them, I mean all the other groups of people. There was one chimp low down in a tree, and one guide was telling his people to get closer. It was basically mass pandemonium like a Black Friday Sale of yore at Walmart where everyone is trying to find where the flat screen TVs are hidden. Yeah, just like that.

That chimp quickly skidaddled up into the treetops. The very, very tall and leafy treetops. They got us into position and pointed up at the trees. We started snapping pictures, but it was not easy with my head tilted back so far like a can opener, heavy camera held above my head, and my glasses fogging over from being in the rainforest. Luckily, they let us pull the face masks down since all the chimps were a million miles up in the sky. We stood around waiting to see if the chimps were going to take a nap or come down lower and eat.

They kept moving us around for a better view, which rarely was in fact better.  Obviously, the chimpanzees don’t stick to the trails, so we were walking through actual forest vines and trees and sloping ground. I was very underwhelmed, thinking this was it–just some tiny blobs in the treetops obscured by leaves, other trees, and an incredibly sore neck.

All of a sudden, one of the chimps was coming down. Francis got us over there quick enough that I was able to get a couple of amazing shots. Then the ape was on the ground! Francis was like GO!, and our group took off, except there was another group of confused Black Friday shoppers that got in my way, so the group got ahead of us a ways. I was following them through the uncut jungle. Then we made it to a fallen log with some branches I was supposed to step on to make it over. Luckily, Francis showed up right then to help me over, and I was able to help my sister. I was following Francis through  jungle vines, over logs, picking up cockleburs on my pants, and dodging tree branches like the intrepid jungle explorer that I am. I didn’t even see the rest of the group ahead of us and was feeling quite proud of myself because I realized I was leading the pack! Cause I am awesome like that! That feeling of accomplishment lasted right until we stopped to watch a chimpanzee way up in the tree, and the German guy behind my sister asked where the rest of the group was. Yeah, they were already there with the guards and had followed that chimpanzee butt all the way through the jungle without losing sight of him. And the nice Irish couple got it on video! Darn!

Once again they were moving us around the base of the trees, and then we were trekking through the jungle again. Somehow we ended up at the pile of elephant dung we had been rightly excited to see earlier. There was a chimpanzee! Just sitting on the ground living his best life eating the undigested fruit from the elephant dung heap. It was glorious, obviously!

I don’t remember the exact chain of events, but we ended up back at the same set of trees several times that we had “followed” that chimp to. And then somehow we were in front of a fallen tree with a BABY CHIMPANZEE, a momma chimpanzee, and another chimp. The two big ones were grooming each other and eating bugs while the baby did cute baby things. We just stood there taking pictures through branches and leaves, twisting and turning to get the best angles. I have no idea how long we stood there, rapt by their antics. Then at 11:33, Francis called Last Picture, so the joy-bringing trio of chimpanzees got up and walked away. They were like, finally I can stop posing for pictures!

This is truly one of the greatest things I’ve ever done, so far. Even better than that one time I picked out the perfect papaya that was just the right amount of ripeness and deliciousness–which is not an easy feat and has never been duplicated.

The walk back to civilization was much quicker, only about 20 minutes. And Herbert was right there waiting for us with the vehicle.  But let me tell you, I was a muddy, filthy mess. My boots were caked with mud and my long sleeve shirt is disgusting. That’s the sign of a truly amazing adventure!

After a delicious lunch back at the lodge (I have to throw that in because you know Momma worries that I don’t eat when I travel.) we headed to Uganda’s second largest national park, Queen Elizabeth National Park which was renamed after Queen Elizabeth visited in 1954.

Guess what? We stopped at the Equator too. There’s a giant monument there. It’s just on the side of the road–you don’t have to pay admission or dig out your passport for registration. There’s not even a building, souvenir shop, wash room, or any vendors.

Then as we were about 10 minutes away from our lodge, there was a car stopped on the other side of the road. We were like, what are they looking at? I kid you not, there was a magnificent LEOPARD sitting on a dead tree trunk about 10 feet from the side of the road. And it just sat there forever! I have a million identical pictures, and they are all glorious! I’m not deleting a single one! After a few minutes, he jumped down into the grass to hide. We waited quite a while, staring intently into the grass but he never popped back up–not for lack of us desperately hoping to the contrary.

That pretty much sums up chimpanzee day. What a great day it was!

Love,
thetwinsontour

ps. They had entertainment at the lodge–kids from the local orphanage singing and having the best time. There was only a small handful of spectators, but that doesn’t stop them from having a great time. They even serenaded us with a birthday song–the longest birthday song I have ever been subjected to in my entire life. I have it all on video–three videos, actually. I kept thinking they were done, but i think all 20 of them had to sing a solo, throw flower petals at our heads, and dance in front of us. After 10 minutes, when I was covered in flower petals and flowers, they were finally done. 10 minutes!

Hello from Uganda! We’ve been here a couple of days now, and everything has been AMAZING!  We are currently in our Toyota Land Cruiser safari vehicle moving at warp speed towards Kibale National Park where we will go chimp trekking tomorrow (I can’t even!). It’s supposed to be a 6-7 hour drive, but Herbert seems determined to make it there much faster. We’ve slowed down to 80 kph, but most of the time we are at 90 kph. It’s fast, especially when we are passing motorbikes carrying lumber, or children with water jugs, or goats laying in the road.  Despite what I recently read, the roads in Uganda are excellent so far–not a single pothole anywhere. However, there are millions of rumble  strips that do not slow us down at all and quite a few speed bumps–mostly in towns; but also seemingly randomly in the middle of nowhere.

We spent the past 2 nights at a lodge in Murchison Falls National Park–the largest national park in Uganda–at close to 4,000 square kilometers.  It’s home to the most giraffes I’ve ever seen and 4 of the Big 5. Rhinos went extinct in Uganda in 1983, so the only rhinoceros are in the sanctuary we visited the first day. More on that later, maybe.

MFNP was once home to a very large population of elephants, but the same political unrest that wiped out the rhinoceros also led to massive ivory poaching. Now, there are about 4,000 elephants up from just “hundreds.” None of them have very large tusks because of that whole survival of the fittest/natural selection thing.  There are also zero zebras here, but I don’t know why.

Can you believe that it’s been 10 years since we’ve been on (an African) safari? Way too long! Especially since it’s one of my most favorite things ever. It’s hard to describe what it feels like to drive through the park with your head sticking out the roof, camera ready, and then boom! there it is–the elephant of your dreams munching on some leaves, or a buffalo wallowing in the mud, or my new favorite antelope–the Jacksons Hartebeast–hiding in the shade of a palm tree. It’s just magical, and it makes my heart so very happy. It’s addicting really–always hoping to get a better picture than the last one, which  coincidentally you already thought was the most amazing picture you ever took.

We left the lodge at 6:30 in the morning for a 3-4 hour game drive. They always start that early in the morning for the best animal sightings, and I happily set my alarm for that! Anyways, we were gone for nearly 5 hours. We saw elephants, hippopotamus, giraffes, warthogs, Ugandan kob, Jacksons Hartebeast, a fish eagle, the smallest antelope found in Uganda, buffalo, waterbok, and a lioness in a tree! Obviously, it was breathtakingly amazing.

It’s incredible how quickly your eyes grow accustomed to spotting animals, and its impossible not to call them out with an excited shout to your sister, even if it’s the 3,812th Ugandan kob that you have seen. The best way to describe this is the excited way you point out cows every time you see some, or the way your breath catches when you see a deer grazing while walking on the trail behind your house. Unlike the deer that you take a picture of every single time so that you can text a picture to your Uncle David, it’s impossible to stop and get a photo of every single antelope in the park.

However, no matter how good I think I am at spotting wildlife, I will never be able to spot a leopard in a tree like my guide. We were just cruising along when Herbert stopped all of a sudden and said there’s a leopard.  I’m like, WHERE? He points at a tree about 500 miles away and says he noticed the leg hanging from a branch. I have no idea how he saw it! Even with my camera zoomed all the way, it was still difficult to see. The cool thing is, we were the first to find it, so nobody else was there.  Rockstars! Of course, other vehicles soon followed. 

***extended multiple day pause***

It rained on us while we were driving, but luckily the rain stopped by the time we made it to Kibale.   We had an optional community tour which would have been miserable in the rain because we were walking all over the place.  Luckily, they had gum boots for us to wear (which are NOT comfortable–I could feel every rock I stepped on.) since it was muddy outside.  Normally, we avoid community visits  because they seem so fake and like no one wants to be there, but this one was fantastic. So glad we did it. 

So, this was a walk through a local community, with maybe 130 people if I am remembering correctly. We had our own personal guide, Stella, and her protégé, Ingrid. First stop was the local water pump– they can always get water out of the pump as it never runs dry. Evidently, the water comes from underground and can be used for cooking, cleaning, and drinking–I did not sample it.

Then came the basket weavers. They weave baskets with dried palm fronds, raffia, papyrus, and the list goes on. And, boy, let me tell you, this is not easy. They had me try and stich a basket. They use a store bought needle, which I have no idea how they get threaded, and stitch the fibers round and round in a circle. But, I couldn’t even manage to pull the needle through! My fingers kept sliding off the needle! That needle was going nowhere. There goes my shot at becoming a professional Ugandan Basket Weaver, which is probably just as well as it takes a week to make a trivet the size of a dinner plate, which only sells for $10. After a few minutes of that,  they got up and started singing traditional songs. Again, normally, people performing in cultural shows look like they are dead inside and just trying to be done as soon as possible, but these ladies were so happy and having the best time. Their joy was contagious. 

After that, we went to meet the coffee queen.  They grow coffee and bananas together here in this region.  We got to grind the coffee beans with a giant mortar and pestle. And then they were singing again! Coffee Queen, Coffee Queen, woo! We’ve seen plenty of coffee being ground and processed before, so normally, we’d skip this, too.

After that, it was time for the banana man who makes banana juice, banana beer, and banana gin.  He knows every single banana saying, and has them all on t-shirts.  Make Bananas Great Again. Let’s Go Bananas. Every Day is Banana Day. No Banana No Party. It’s BA:NA:NA o’clock. We may have been unable to control ourselves and bought banana t-shirts. But hey, they were green and purple. It was meant to be.

Anyways, he makes banana juice by hand. Absolutely fascinating process. First, he grabbed a bottle of water and scrubbed his hands with a scrub brush.  Then he popped open some baby bananas and tossed them in a bowl. He mashed the bananas with his hands and then threw some banana leaves in the mixture to act as a filter for the juice. It takes a lot of squeezing and washing to get any juice, and then you water it down with some bottled water. Once you have it all beat into a giant mass of goop and banana leaves, you make a funnel with a giant banana leaf (also rinsed off with bottled water), put the funnel in the now empty water bottle, and then wring out that mass of banana stuff like you are wringing water out of a wet towel. Violá banana juice. We drank it, and it was delicious. However, I don’t think I can repeat this juice making process at home because I don’t know where to get fresh banana leaves or anything other than disgusting Cavendish bananas. Banana beer made with fermented banana juice and sorghum is also delicious–it tastes a lot like cider. Banana gin 40% alcohol is not for me. Banana gin 60% alcohol is only palatable when mixed with banana juice.

The day is not over! We still had to go on the swamp tour! This starts out in an old garden full of trees and guava trees full of monkeys! Red tailed monkeys eating guava! Black and White Colubus monkeys eating some other kind of fruit. Red Colobus monkeys! There are actually 7 different primate species in the swamp area, but we only saw these three. My neck was getting sore looking up at the monkeys, but it was worth it! We were there during monkey dinner time, so we didn’t find any others.

Then we said, “Sure, we will walk through the swamp.” There’s a “boardwalk” that goes through it. It’s replaced every 2 years and is due for an upgrade at the end of the upcoming rainy season. This means that half the boards are broken or missing, and the other half are on their way to be broken or missing.  And I guess they ran out of boards because most of the remaining ones were just circular branches cut in half that are a little tricky to walk on wearing gum boots.  Our guide would not let us carry our own cameras or cell phones. She put them in her backpack for safe keeping, which was a great idea. Then, about 25% of the way, she grabbed my hand and helped me along the rest of the way. Thank goodness! It was slippery and treacherous.  Luckily, it was fairly short, or you may have never seen thetwinsontour again. If it weren’t monkey dinner time, we would have been able to see more different species of monkeys in the swamp. But, honestly, I don’t know how that would have worked, standing on a rickety boardwalk with missing planks, looking up into the trees, and trying not to slip or lose my balance.

And then we were done. The end!

Love,

thetwinsontour

PS–sorry we ran out of time to talk about the rhinoceros sanctuary or the waterfall at Murchison Falls. Maybe later. (Which generally means we won’t.)